D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

All I Want Is A Job Somewhere . . . Far Away From The Cold Night Air
Wed Nov 24 2004

I've been looking at jobs online today. It's very discouraging. There aren't very many part time ones available. And when they do have them, they want people to work weekends and swing shifts and maybe wear tight fitting black satin skirts and fishnet stockings, ['cleavage a plus!'] If I wore that kind of outfit, people would think it was Halloween all year round.

I'm looking for a nice quiet office job, working for some guy who is about 70 years old who is an editor for say.... "Fisherman's Quarterly" or some such magazine, where I might get a chance to write ad copy from time to time, or spend most of my time re-typing his feature story and giving him tips on the best Bass bait. (Plastic Worms).

I'd answer the phone, which would ring about 4 times a day, 2 of which would be his wife calling to see if he needs anything. The other two would be inquiries for subscriptions which I would take longhand and put in a real filing cabinet with real paper. Lunch would be an hour long, and I could bring cookies. Occasionally I would be sent out for the dry cleaning or to get pizza and donuts. The donuts, no matter how many of them you ate, would never cause you to gain weight.

And this office would be within walking distance of my house. Say 15 minutes or so. Just about right. Enough to get a nice cobweb clearing every day before and after work.

But as it is, I just keep reading and reading. Pages and pages of job search.

The ads that really scare me are the ones that say something like: "Fast paced office setting. Frequent interruptions are common. Must be able to work well to deadlines and multi-task. Cheerful upbeat personality, not easily intimidated by large truck drivers clambering for their paychecks. 'Firm, yet friendly'. That's our motto!"

Oy.

Maybe I should just go buy a lottery ticket instead.



7 Comments
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 23 2004
    I've tried the lottery ticket route. Your chance of finding your ideal job gives better odds.

    Shalom
  • From:
    Sezrah (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 23 2004
    sounds like a dream job ;)
  • From:
    Franacropan (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 23 2004
    When you find that job can I be your assistant!
    Lol...you are quite right about the "multitasking" aspect, they want you to do absolutely everything but for part time money. My favourite job advert that I read recently ended "and other ad hoc duties"....well I think we know what that means...everything else that could possibly need doing that they can't fit in the advert.
    [album 25074 wavey.gif]
  • From:
    ImNotLisa (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 24 2004
    Hey uh... we could set up 'Fisherman's Quarterly' ourselves. That just sounds ideal. I want the job so I can sit and crochet, too. Unfortunately I haven't found an ad like in my paper either, but if I do I'll let you know.
  • From:
    Calantha (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 24 2004
    Good luck with the job search! So you've ruled out Barnes and Noble? I almost applied there for holiday help.

    Maybe a job in an art gallery or a museum? Not exactly related to literature . . . well, hey, what about a college or other library? Anyway, I'm sure you have already thought of all this.

    You need to get a book published. You could promote it yourself online. www.authorhouse.com *smile*

    Anyway, have a wonderful holiday!

    Love,
    Calantha
  • From:
    Bookworm (Legacy)
    On:
    Wed Nov 24 2004
    Lol, love this job description. I sure hope you find something at least close to it. ;-)
  • From:
    Fairywishes (Legacy)
    On:
    Sat Nov 27 2004
    can you get me a job like that too?