There is something in the air today.
It's been mild and mostly sunny with a very gentle breeze. But the weather man says it's going to rain, and I think I would have to agree with him.
I feel extra sensitive to it today.
I haven't said too much about the menopause thing lately, as things have been going pretty well. But in some ways I feel it's been a calm before a storm, just like today. I hate to use a hackneyed word, but it seems to fit so well.... I feel fragile.
Like if someone shook me real hard, I would just shatter into a million pieces. It's not a BAD feeling necessarily,but it's pretty strong.
It reminds me of certain stages of an insect that is going through metamorphosis. There must be moments when they are extremely vulnerable. That's me. But I have this feeling that if I can just get past this place.... I don't know how long it will last.... but if I get beyond it, I will be fine. I will be strong and feisty.
But right now I need to find a leaf to hide under, until my shell hardens or something.
Today I went to Wal-Mart and bought some Iris.... bulbs? corms? roots?.
Sky Blue, Pink, and Yellow. 8 altogether. I went out into the front yard and scratched up the dirt and planted them. They look dead. And I felt silly putting them in the cold muddy ground. This isn't the time to plant anything is it? But then I got to thinking, I feel like those Iris roots. Gnarled and dormant. Though perhaps if I get planted and tended to, I will bloom again too. But it might take a whole winter and spring to find out.
I ran across a funny quote today that just suited my mood.
"If the world didn't suck. . . . . . we'd all fall off."
Dark humor to be sure. But I'll take any humor I can get at this point.
Comments (12)
everything is a paradox with me i always feel fragile and i always feel strong
hey i looked up phoebe in my greek mythology book a very authoritative text and it made reference to a male god so you know what i am going to say
I can't relate to the fragile feeling, but there are times when I'm so tired, I just wish the world would go away and leave me be under the covers.
I think a good friend and a cuppa are in order at those times.
Shalom
Another quote for your "dark" collection:
"When you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts you can be sure you're dead"...
I am in the same life stage ....its all a bit scary . I dont want to be an old lady ....but if I have to be I am going down fighting . We need to get big purple hats buddy . lol
What a ride we are on ...love to you sweetheart .
Hugs
Linda xxxx
The Husband finds his love Moody, even a cuddly and kind soothing words will bring on tears and he is dumb enough to ask what is wrong. SHE don't know !! SEX is a three letter word,for he is alone and afraid to ask what can he do to help.
It is a curse on both cast upon us and walking on eggs some will break and things get sticky on both
our dancing feet.
I have no answer but it does not help when two are retired and have way to much To gatherness.
The Space gets so small our world gets very unstable.
I better quit for now I will be in trouble with many.
By the way, I loved the quote. :)
I think that quote is fantastic, just what I need at the moment. Your entry today sums up how I am feeling underneath trying to be a mother and wife and housekeeper - sensitive and gnarled and dormant & needing some attention! Don't we all need a bit of tending to though? Think you need Hubman to serve your every need for a while - or at least a few hours.
..or maybe you need a good old visit from our doctor friend...or at least a visit to his bathtub office
take care, keep on swimming
x
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Rhizomes. Iris roots couldn't have a normal name, could they? Their beauty makes up for it,,though. I'll smile thinking of yours,too. when mine bloom.
Hugs,
Ani