D'vorahDavida
Yetzirah

Mountain Dog
Mon Dec 22 2003

I miss my dog.

There’s no use trying to cover it over with platitudes, or trying to force myself to think about something else, I just miss himself, I will be honest.

Whether it’s a good idea or not, I have been going through all our old photo albums looking for pictures of him. In some ways it was good, in that I was reminded of him in younger years when he was so much more active. Every time we took a group picture, he was in it, as he was a cuddle bug, and wanted to be near “the pack”. He was never happier than when we were all in the same room together. When we were in different rooms, he would mosey back and forth checking on everyone.
He preferred his flock all in one spot. Saved him a lot of footwork.

We used to hide his toys in boxes and clothes baskets and under chairs and then tell him to find them. He loved that game. He used to have a little fuzzy lion hand puppet called “Scruffy”. And if you told him to go get Scruffy, he never came back with a ball or some other toy, he brought Scruffy.

I used to keep his leash on a low shelf in the living room and when we were going to go “walkies”….(which we always said in the manner of Mrs. Woodhouse) , I would tell him to “Get your leash” which would send him into paroxysms of barking and running to grab said leash and drag it to wherever I was. It was hard to bark and carry at the same time, so he had to pick it up several times.

We used to “howl” together often. He loved to do that with us. And we have proven to many a guest that we were completely out of our minds, howling like a pack of wolves with Robbie. But we did it because he loved it so much. We didn’t care if we looked like fools, we were playing with Robbie.

My friend S. and I would often walk up at the football field, going around the track several times, and Robbie would amuse himself by playing tag with the swallows that had nests under the eaves of one of the buildings up there. They would swoop low, luring him away from the nesting site, and he would run like he was shot from a cannon. Some evenings he would run until he was completely done in, and had to lay down with his tongue hanging out one side of his mouth while we continued around the track in our lumbering bumbling human way.

Robbie went on many a high mountain adventure when we used to go backpacking. He looked like a prissy town dog, but he loved to go in the mountains and get grubby like the rest of us. One year, Robbie and I convinced a herd of 100 cattle that coming into East Boulder Lake Basin was not a good idea that day. We faced off with the lead cow, I waving my hat in the air and Robbie barking (but never leaving my side) until she turned around and led the noisy smelly crowd into the next gulch.
We didn’t see hide nor hair of them for the three days that we stayed at the lakes.

Robbie grew up in a very small town and I used to take him everywhere with me when I went to town. We went together into every business in town, except the grocery store and restaurants. No one seemed to mind that there was a dog in the video store helping me pick out movies, or waiting in line at the bank. People just sort of made exceptions for him, for not only was he beautiful, but he always behaved like a gentleman.

Anyway, I am recovering slowly. My whole routine during the day reminds me that he is not here, so it’s painful.

I had asked hubby to get rid of Robbie’s leash and collar for me while I was away at my parents burying him. When I got back they were gone, but yesterday in the car, I kept hearing a familiar sound. I looked over to see that he had placed Robbie’s dog tag on his key chain. Wasn’t that a sweet thing to do? We miss him, even stepping over him when he chose to settle right in the middle of the entrance to the kitchen, to make sure he wasn’t missing anything.

I feel like I should apologize for being so maudlin, but frankly, I just have to go through this place so I can come out on the other side.

Thanks for listening to me.

[album 65561 E Boulder.jpg]



7 Comments
  • From:
    AQuietEvening (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Dec 22 2003
    It is no trouble to listen. I love hearing about how wonderful Robbie was and..it's fun to know you're a little crazy like me...howling sounds like fun!

    ~QE
  • From:
    RealmOfRachel (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Dec 22 2003
    I think it's understandable you need to remember and you need time to grieve. I like hearing about Robbie too, he sounds like he was a wonderful part of the family. I can only hope that the pain you're feeling will dim with time.

    When our dog had to be put to sleep we planted a ros bush in the garden for her, maybe that would help you to have something to tend in the garden to remember him by?

    Big Hugs and lots of Love
    Rach xxxx
  • From:
    Pragmatist (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Dec 22 2003
    We all mourn in our own ways. If looking at pictures brings back sweet memories, then that's what you should be doing.

    I have a couple pictures of Squinchie about the house, and I enjoy coming upon them. He was quite the gentleman cat, and I think his passing contributes to Miki's spastic ways. She didn't used to be so antisocial.

    Funny story about the cows. I'd guess that it was Robbie's stern lecture that turned them away.

    Shalom
  • From:
    AeolianSolo (Legacy)
    On:
    Mon Dec 22 2003
    Nobody minds your grief processing. As much as I complain about my fuzzy little friends I know I will be a basket case when the time comes to let one of them go. I'm getting misty right now just thinking about it. Do what you need to and we will keep right on reading, no worries.

    --Solo
  • From:
    Bookworm (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Dec 23 2003
    I'd be disappointed if you didn't write about your thoughts and feelings on the Robbie topic. This is the kind of writing we're all reading for, the honest stuff that's close to your heart. It's very theraputic for you anyway. ;-)
  • From:
    Parett (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Dec 23 2003
    It's been so long, I forgot my password!! I've had the flu, my son was here visiting for two weeks and I was out of town. What can I say...it's the holidays.
    I'm really sorry to hear about Robbie. Grieving takes so much time. Don't be impatient with it...just love Robbie whenever you feel it. Our love is powerful.
    Happy Holidays.(I can't remember how to spell Hannukah?) Sorry.
    Now comes the time to see if the password is correct. Wish me luck. Love you...P
    (Oh well..let's try again)
    Eureka!!!
  • From:
    Yarngirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Dec 23 2003
    I think it is a hard thing to let go of, all that love and affection for such a long time. Don't ever feel ashamed for missing him, he was a good friend to you. Someday, maybe, you will have another friend such as Robbie, and you can tell him all about his big brother. I tell my Maisie about her big sister Daisy who died 14 years before Maisie was born. I enjoy my memories of Daisy as a puppy through Maisie, and it took 14 years for me to be able to do that. I understand.

    Julie