I have brain fog.
Everything is muffled and hazy. My eyes are half shut. I am popping Alleve like a true druggie, and besides that it’s cloudy outside. Gloomy, like me.
What I want is for the daylight to be over, I want a giant overstuffed chair next to a roaring fire with a room full of candles. I want a novel from heaven that I can’t put down, and no calorie hot chocolate on a table to my right. Next to the hot chocolate is a plate of no calorie shortbread cookies just out of the oven. I want NO consequences to my self- indulgence this evening. None, zip, nada. Comprende ?
In the REAL world, the Alleve only takes the edge off the labor pains I’m having and the hourly doses of low fat homemade fudge I am doctoring myself with, WILL have consequences. It could be worse. I could be driving down to Krispy Kreme Donuts and getting a dozen assorteds and really learning about maximum consequences, but I feel too rotten to go out. I look haggard. I might scare someone to death. Then I would be having brain fog, labor pains, and a guilt complex. So I think I will stay home and keep the mayhem to a minimum.
40 years of this is about enough wouldn’t you say? Where do I sign up for unmonthlycycleployment? Wonder what the waiting list looks like for that? Do you have to bribe the government worker to get it? Or just walk in and threaten them with stale donuts, and empty Alleve bottles. Maybe my haggard visage would be enough to scare someone into handing over my “Your Menopause Begins Now!” documents. There better not be a fee either. I have PAID my dues thank you very much. Now it’s time to start collecting interest.
I have been walking around here all day piddling with this and that.
I think my major accomplishment was to do the dishes. Everything annoys me. The cat annoys me, I have glared at him several times. The dog annoys me, and he has been minding his own business. Hubby annoys me, even though he has been helping me by gluing an end table together that I want to refinish. I think I would be annoyed no matter who or what turned up today. If Barry Manilow showed up and offered to sing “Could It Be Magic” for me, I would be annoyed.
Aren’t you glad I am HERE, and you are safe wherever YOU are ???
Maybe two more pills would do it…. what do you think ?
Because frankly, between you and me, I don’t think the low fat fudge is cutting the mustard today. My home remedies are failing miserably. Or perhaps a deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwich made with matzah? Hmmm. . . the idea has merit.
This is my brain.
This is my brain with brain fog.
Not a pretty sight.