YOU think you're a WRITER?

A deardiarist was so kind as to recommend a book to me recently.
(You KNOW who you are !)

I had been mulling over some writer’s block issues and whined to said diarist. We are about to find out just how good their sense of humor is.

I have read about ¾ of “Telling Lies for Fun and Profit” by Lawrence Block. And have concluded that I will NEVER be a writer ! Now this may have been his goal all along in writing this book, to keep his competition to a minimum. As a matter of fact that sounds very plausible now that I have written it…. There was a certain cynicism in his approach that opened the door for the old “Inner Critic” to invite himself in for a sit down and ask for tea.

Now, I must admit, I am not finished with the book, maybe he reveals the whereabouts of the kryptonite to transform said Critic into a blubbering fan of everything I put on paper…. Or computer monitor as the case may be. But so far, not a hint of any such magic weapon is apparent.

Of course, I WAS a bit mollified by the fact that the author paid the rent for quite a while writing soft porn novels, which does not exactly make him my hero in any way. And also gives me some hope to dismiss his advise as faulty and go along my merry way. But on the other hand he has published over 100 books, and certainly not all of them were sexual in nature. But still I am left with the uncomfortable feeling that getting a book published remains among those freaks of nature, like hurricanes and tornadoes. You never really know when they are going to turn deadly, right up until the minute they do.

But being the responsible goof that I am, I will finish the book out, as it was recommended by someone I trust. If he hands over any secret formulas I will be sure and let you know. I think in the end, if one really wants to write, no one is going to stop you. (He agrees totally) It’s too bad that most writer types are not simultaneously great marketers of their work. If I was a good marketer, I would be selling tupperware. A product I believe in! And not scanning the want ads for clerical jobs. I would be clacking away at my keyboard writing a great ….. wait a minute, I AM clacking away…. Hmmmm.

Anyway, off to finish the book. I had to take a break and write this to keep the Inner Critic from freezing me up altogether with his sneering smirk and his musty waistcoat. He’s tramped mud all over my clean floor too.

I hope his tea gets cold.

Comments (4)

mybook (Legacy)

i hope you keep at it. not everyone is going to get published and you may get some rejection notices but keep at it. i hope it works out for you :)

bookworm (Legacy)

Glad you're actually reading the book. You know, I think you write great humour, why don't you angle in on that? Anyway, when you've done with that book why don't you also read Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. She helps you focus on just writing. It helped me a lot.

I've never actually read any of Mr Block's fiction, lol, but try Writing the Novel: From Plot to Print as well. That was the book that prompted me to finally write an entire novel.

I can recommend a whole heap of writing books that helped me out, but it depends on how much time you've got for reading. Keep on making me laugh. ;-)

Pragmatist (Legacy)

I have a book that you might find very useful: Write It Right! It has a chapter on practically all you need to know about writing.

It also proved helpful in supporting my view when I was editing someone else's work. And helped me write it right the first time when I had to put together a speech or report, or whatever....

It's yours if you want it.

Shalom

PS: It won't change your unique way of looking at the world. It'll just help if you're unsure of a spelling, where to use an apostrophe...stuff like that.

ShadowRose (Legacy)

You want to write? Put down that book you are reading, whatever it is, and read "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg. THAT will inspire, give you confidence and motivate you to be the writer you know you are deep inside. TRUST me -- I'm a writer, have been teaching journaling on the internet, and am getting ready to query a publisher about publishing my first book. This book is EXACTLY what you need.

BTW -- I found that book you recommended to me about running a Jewish household at half.com. Looks great! thanks so much.