What a horrible morning. We wake up and Michelle has to go to college. So we go into the shower and it seems very mundane. Then, there is a knocking on the door asking "are you almost done". I reply, "I just got started". So I continue to shower when the door is opened by my big brother. He is demanding that we get out. I'm telling him to get the hell out and he throws our shower basket into the shower. He then tells us we have 5 minutes or else. So then I'm pissed and tell my mom to say something. She says, "I'm not getting invovled. Kill yourselves if you want, but I'm leaving". So she leaves with the kids. I'm thinking, this is bullshit. I had only been in there 3 minutes. So then I go back in the shower to wash off the shampoo I had in my hair. A few minutes later, he is there with his girlfriend. Apprantely, she needed to go to work. So then he is mad and throw stuff off the kitchen counter. I say, "What the hell is your problem"! He says, "I get woken up and told you guys won't get out the shower". I tell him that is not the way he should go about those things. He then starts to say he don't care because he believes that I'm the reason we're being thrown out the house. *WHAT THE HELL?!* He can't be serious. So eventually Michelle gets out the shower and she doesn't even want the shower basket stuff.

She gets dressed and they go into the shower. I then go to the shower and tell him, "From this day forward, don't EVER EVER talk to me. I don't care if you get married, you have kids, or whatever. While we're here, don't even try talking to me. It was bad enough you broke the laptop I got for my last birthday, so screw you." I then leave to my room. I am so pissed. I want to seriously hurt him. Michelle eventually calms me down.

We go to college and Michelle heads for her class. I met with the transfer counselor. I find out that I won't be able to go to UC Davis. So I try to ask if there is any other way, she says no. I then thank her for her time and leave. I head straight for the bathroom. In there, I'm crying about everything. I tear up the transcript and requirements I was holding into tiny little pieces and flushed them down the toilet. Eventually, I got out and looked like a wreck. I washed my face several times. I then decided to go outside.

I'm outside and find a perfect thing to do. I will lay next to the fountain and close my eyes. That'll give me time for my face to look ok. So I'm laying and I'm thinking about all kinds of stuff. I think about some of the comments I got on here. I think about my conversation with ally yesterday. I think about Michelle. I think about my life. After a while, I look in a mirror. I look regular. I smile just to disguise what's going on further. I then go to the college store and buy some oreo ice cream and M&M's. That seemed to help. After that, decided to let out my thoughts here on my diary; so here I am.

My eyes still hurt. I hope I don't bump into anyone. Lihn is here in the computer lab. I could see her. I hope she don't want to talk. I hope Bobby don't end up in here. No one but perhaps Michelle can help me cope. Maybe a few online friends. Hopefully thier online. That's all for now