Today I went on campus with a different outlook. After chatting to Michelle the night before, I decided to actually take her advice and be straight up with people. So with that in mind, I go sit with the group after my psychology class. Ayumi, Romero, Candace, Awilda and this guy named Jaime. *not entire group, but usual morning time people*

I get asked the usual, "How are you?" So I tell them, "i'm stressed and tired of everyone's shit around here" *if only you could see the looks on thier faces* A collective oh resenated from the group. As I sat there, I couldn't help but feel I was there but not there. *like i was invisable* Eventually, Candace asks if I"m ok. I tell her no. She is like, "Little brother, you know I care for you" *she calls me lil bro because awhile ago, we said we were like family, with Eliza being the mom, long crazy story* Anyways, I'm like, "No you don't care for me. If you cared for me, you'd call me to see how I was, you'd hang out with me outside campus. If you cared you'd know alot more about me" The look on her face was of, HE MUST BE TRIPPING HARD TODAY. After that, I had my next class and left.

I see Donald and Brian. I ignore them and keep my distance. I eventually get out of class and see the group. I almost sat with them, but decided to go out on my own. SO I find this nice tree with shade and I lay under it. While there, wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to study. Then I remember I have a bible in my backpack. I whip it out. I"m not sure where to start, then I remember shadowrose telling me to study the goespel of John in depth. SO I decide to see what that is about. I go through the first 4 chapters. *surprised, I usually can hardly finish 1 chapter without getting bored. After that, I just layed there and talked with God. Realized that maybe I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. *reminds me of a song, hehehe* So after taking maybe a brief nap under there, I walk around.

I see the group sitting outside student center. I almost go there, but decide to head to computer lab. I check email and comments. I leave and realize I have alot of time to kill before I start work. I give in and go to the group. Donald and April are there, Candace and Awild arent. I sit and shun Donald. *I got mad at him Thursday for not showing me this letter he had* April then gets a call from Eliza, she leaves. I decide to go get some ice cream at ice cream shop.

While walking there, from behind, Eliza calls me. She is with April and they are going to McDonalds. I get invited. I tell her not to invite me out of pity, I don't want to be a sixth toe. SHe says with her I'm never a sixth toe. So we walk and she asks what is wrong. I tell her I'm tired of everyone. She says that I should know better than to hang with that group. *she don't like them if you recall* I'm like, your group is too wild for me. She says if we don't like her people, just tell her and she'll stop hanging with them. * I don't like them but i'm not gonna say anything* Eventually we get to McDonalds and we eat.

WHile there, Eliza starts to eat April's dippin dots. This old lady that works there says to get her own. Eliza is like, we're sisters, and I can do that. *though its obvious that they ain't sisters with Eliza being white and April being black* So the old lady tells her that she is rude and has no manners. I then but in and say She has no manners and she is the rude one. She then says, "smart ass" I look at her with this crazy look, then look around and say, "she cusses?!" SHe is like, "you need to act your age" I tell her, "WHo is the grown up around here, your suppose to set the example. Besides, there are kids around here" *me obviously using the youthful look I have to my advantage* She then walks away mummering something. The high school kids around me are loving it. SHe had been being rude the whole time we were there and no one said anything. Eliza thought it was the coolest thing ever. April came back and had no idea what happened. We leave and laugh about it.

Get back on campus and Eliza has to work. Me and APril lay under this tree there and talk. She thinks she is pregnant and thinks about this guy named Ceaser. I eventually have to leave and go to work.

I show up late and I'm kinda mad. I don't have much work to do, but still, I like being on time. Later in the night, I end up having to set up signs for upcoming sale. It helps some time go by. I eventually get home and chat with kaliko and Michelle.

Right now, feel a lil guilty about that old lady thing. Also I'm feeling a lil angry at everything. I'm thinking its the increased stress. I'm even feeling like telling off Brian today. *he's trying to apply at JCPenny as well* I hate the way he is. He's SO sadistic. Not just me that says that either. Even when I told him I'm so exhausted from working and going to college, he's like, stop being a baby. I worked for over a year and did school. I'm like, Whatever. Though now I"m thinking of just saying forget this jerk and telling him off. Would actually make me feel a lil better too. He says rude stuff all the time and I just try to ignore it. Well, now that i'm having guts, he's gonna hear the truth and if he don't apologize, he can forget any endorsement from me to the boss. >:) Anyways, that is all.