As for the future, I dunno. More school? Work? That's it. I guess as my life is pretty boring. I want to go swimming and exercise more. Will that happen for real? Who knows. Will I get closer to God and my friends? I'd like to think so. Though being the pessimist that I am, I probaly won't. Ray is moving near Fresno. *far from here in Sacramento* He's accepted a guard position in one of the prisions there. I talked to him and says he wants to save money to buy a house and wants to find a girlfriend/spouse. He also wants to go to college there. He has this sort of "if I build it, she will come mentality". Personally, I don't think he will have time to achieve the golden 3. *school, work, spouse* If anyone could do it though, it'd be him; he's smart and would probaly make a good spouse to someone. Just, I wish he didn't have to move away.

As for me and God, I dunno. Actually, I do sorta know. I know he's there. Just, who he*she?it?* is confusing. I don't trust books and analysis written by others. Nor do I think much of other advice from people. People are just too biased by thier culture, parents, peers, and media to know what the hell is real. So the search for God is now completely subjective for me. Let God reveal himself to me. Let me see by how reality is constructed what he influences and what is just random chance. Even with Ray, I realize his mom's strong religous influence and that of her friends and his, influence how he percieves what and who God is. I'll still listen to him and others, but my personal experience is hopefully more objective. *isn't science objective* Yeah freakin right. People fight amongst themselves to defend a particular theory or risk thier reputations being ruined. Not only that, they'd lose out on research grants and all this nonsense.

Anyways, I have to go now. The last bus is coming. *I'm at college* I don't have online at home anymore. Long story. Will I be back, dunno.