Wow, today sure did have alot of twists and turns. Ok, so I wake up tired then eventually get to college. There, I go to student center. There is Donald. He starts talking about baseball. About the homerun record. Then about Reggie Jackson somehow. after that, he told me this odd lil remark he apparently said, I'm the straw that stirred the milk. I was like huh? He explained that it was about racisim and how it was about intergation. Anyways, we talk some more, then Candace comes in. Is like Avina wants to go to Starbucks. *usally I just agree, but I didn't want to go there* So I say, lets wait till one after bible study and get pizza. Is met with some resistance but eventually Avina comes and agrees. So it comes close to bible study time when I see Rebecca, she's like, you coming? I'm like sure. I go. Was interesting. I get invited to pizza fellowship later in day, I'm like YEAH! *pizza twice*

I go back and everyone is just about ready. Its me, Javel, Candace, Avina, Donald and this mexican fool. *can't think of name* Anyways, I had some extra money from unemployment check, I offer to buy. *first time ever* I do. We get pizza and soda. Was VERY FUN! Javel was making me and avina cry. LOL. While Candace was semi-laughing. Donald sat at different table at first. Mexican homie was not laughing or even trying to get into conversation. Eventually, Avina and all of us invite Donald to table. He comes. we ask what is wrong, he comes to me, *ME?!!* and whispers, I'm the straw that stirred the milk. I at first was puzzled, then it hit me. DONALD don't feel right in the group. Is one of only two black people in group. Javel is other one. *so not sure why he'd mention that there* I wasn't sure what to do, so I just ate my pizza and continued to let Javel entertain me. HE IS FUNNY! I even was making some jokes too. Though I felt bad for Donald and mexican homie. They had that look that I used to have. I think they feel like outsiders. :(

Anyways, after that we go outside, there Jeff comes. He is sad. He sits with avina and tells her one of people in his church was dying. He had to go though. Though before he left, he asked me to come with him. I said sure. *he is good to talk to, besides, ain't nothing postive going on at home* So we walk, he tells me about this girl, I tell him more about tumor. We talk about other things as well. Get on bus, more talking. We are very very similar. I think we will continue to talk outside college as friends. He gets off, I go back to college.

While going back, I start to get down again. NOt sure why, but I do. I get on bus, see some girls that love telling everyone I'm 20. LOL. THey're 13. They are in just amazement of my age. Anyways, get off bus then realize, oh, pizza fellowship. I call home, they are waiting at house to pick me up. I have them pick me up near bus stop. We talk about my tumor, with rebecca in car, got started cause she happen to have book open to page about pituitary gland. Then talk about me worshiping on Saturday.

I get there, in better mood. Not many there at time, but it fills up. Though table I'm at has these 2 annoying guys. I believe they come against will, they are teenagers. They obviously view me as different cause I wasn't trying to act all immature as them. One says something under breath. Then his friend and him leave me. Then I'm just there, sitting there, pizza comes, we pray, eat. There are like 25 people there, yet no one sitting with me. Felt like crying. Held it in, eventually I think one of the guys named spencer felt sorry for me, came over and talked with me. We went over sabbath. He tried to disprove me, but I had too much backing. Was ok, I'm glad he came when he did, I almost went in bathroom and was gonna go feel sorry for self. I was a lil sad Rebecca didn't come over, but I know why she didn't, she was disputing bible with these muslims. Then she was talking to athesist I think. Anyways, I still had sociology, so I had to leave early.

In class we talked about Gender. How we believe certain traits are "femine" and other are "masculine". Though in reality both sexes contain both traits. Was interesting though, as i seen list of feminine traits, I felt odd cause I identified with that, not masculine traits as much. Masculine traits were, more agressive, assertive, non-emotional, uncaring. I just didn't agree with that. Oh yeah, midterm exam was today too. I think i did ok. NAILED the essay part. I THINK. So I go outside where it is frezzing. I am there waiting on bus alone, get down again. Eventually it comes, I hop on go home.

At home, find my mom is sad. Though she has dinner ready. *the one day i'm not hungry* My mom's boyfriend is under arrest. Guess what he did, he Robbed someone, robbed a car, and stabbed someone. AND HE'S ILLEGAL ALIEN! That is it for him. I'm not sure wheter to celebrate or feel bad for my mom and him.

Last bit of drama, big bro takes over computer, downloads music. Was big argument, I wanted on, but no, he wanted on. :( I go in living room watch tv on my tv. Oh yeah, Our main tv blewout. We need to buy new one. Its not the same watching tv in the living when the tv is 14 inches. After some time, I go to try to get on computer, I do, I write. Now I'm here, VERY MIXED! Today was both happy and sad. I want to tune out sad, is hard.