I found this quote here on DD and thought it so interesting that I look up similiar stuff. "Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ... "
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

I found some other definitions online in this "devil's dictionary. Here are some of my favorites.

APOLOGIZE, v.i.
To lay the foundation for a future offence.

BRUTE, n.
See HUSBAND.

CAT, n.
A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

CRITIC, n.
A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

FORK, n.
An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. Formerly the knife was employed for this purpose, and by many worthy persons is still thought to have many advantages over the other tool, which, however, they do not altogether reject, but use to assist in charging the knife. The immunity of these persons from swift and awful death is one of the most striking proofs of God's mercy to those that hate Him.

FRIENDLESS, adj.
Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
FRIENDSHIP, n.
A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Some of them are weird but kinda funny to me. Then again, I'm weird.