Phew! What a last couple of days. First monday. Monday was generally good. The only part that I really upseted me was when this guy Jose came into the student center and didn't say hi and mocked me. *which is ok I suppose. Next, him and Jeff talk. I'm totally excluded from the conversation. *again, ok* So Jose talks about going outside and asks me if I want to go. I turn to Jeff and kinda mumble out the answer to him. Jose sees this and mocks me right then and there. So I say, "what was that Jose?" He says nothing. I turn to talk to Ayumi and he does it again. So he asks if I still wanna go, I say no. Jeff and him go outside, talk, Jeff comes back in. We head for bus stop. At the bus stop, I'm furious, actually, JEff woulud probaly describe it as out of my mind. I start talking about if he says one more off the wall remark to me, I'm gonna beat him up, burn his long hair, and make him eat his glasses. *not the first time he's got me upset, last time, He asked where Jeff was and I didn't know, he says some remark about me letting go of the leash* Jeff is upset and doesn't want to talk to me about it. Later, he gives me some batteries so I can listen to some music on my walkman.

As I head home, I turn back to "normal". Maybe the music, maybe needed to blow off some steam, maybe I just got bored of thinking about it. At home, I call Jeff and apologize for putting him through so much crap. He's ok with it. We talk and I sleep.

Today was very mixed. Came there late barely made it to my weight training class. Worked out alot. Was VERY tired afterwards. I hung out for a bit, then I decided to go to consular's office. *reason, letter saying I got progress probation* So I go and ask to find out what that means. Well, means I got too many W's *withdraws* for such a short period* Also, find I got academic probation. So she's asking me what happened. I tell her I feel I can't concentrate because of the stress. As I talk about it, mention brain tumor. She then she looks at my assessment test I took before I entered. She asks if I like to read and what classes I took in high school. So I tell her about them and she says that she believes I'm VERY capable of doing the work because of my percentiles. *I am ahead of nearly everyone, glad I did good on that* So then she tells me about a petition for medical leave of absence. Says that my circumstances are good enough to try to get one. *what is that?* The petition would be added to my transcript, just about nullifying my withdraws and poor grades for the previous semester. All I need is my doctor to verify I have tumor. *YES, can do that* Anyways, so I get that and go back to hanging out. *my new pastime*

I see Jeff, Eliza, and Alex. We decide to go eat. So we go there and eat some MORE pizza. While there, I think Jeff is uncomfortable cause he's the butt of all the jokes. *he puts himself in that positon, i dunno why* He has to leave and wants me to go. They want me to stay. I stay. Jeff leaves cause he has psychologist appointment. *probaly a matter of time before I have psychologist appointments, LOL* So I stay, we kinda talk about Jeff, though we do manage to change subject. *GRRR, feel like a hypocrite, but, they ask me what's wrong and if I defend too much more like I have been, they gonna make some more remarks like Jose* NOTE TO SELF: STOP IT, FIRST AND LAST TIME OF DOING THAT STRAIGHT HYPOCRITE CRAP *sigh, he's my best friend afterall, how could I do that*

After that, they got late classes, I got to go. I wait at bus stop. There, I see student body president guy. *he's so popular, is like he knows everyone* We talk, he's really cool. What was really cool is that I talked to him like 4 months ago about tumor and he remembered. Not only that, but gave me some advice as to the tumor. Said, "Don't stress too hard, you know that no one is guranteed tomorrow, Heck, we can die right now, just live every moment to the fullest" After that lil thing, I thank him for advice. *thinking, did Eliza introduce me to him, I do remember him in group for small time, anyways* It rains after that. I end up getting HUGE tumor headache. I get home.

At home, I'm really grumpy. Is VERY noticable. I lay on couch and just hold my head. I kinda snap at family. *sigh, they were just trying to help, sometimes I can be a real jerk* I eventually watch some Dateline and then lay down. After that, I come on computer to type. Headache is still slightly here. Not too happy right now. Family is concerned, I am too. Losing appetite again. Big headaches. Eyes hurting. Though I should be overjoyed, my mom got her income tax return and boy is it a whopper. Get this, our government gave her $4,000+. *phew,that's alot* That will REALLY REALLY REALLY help. Finally gonna have a refrigarator, car, and new bed. *YES, has been 5 years since I had a new bed, bed has been LITERALLY falling apart* Also, may move out of this hell hole. Is enough for a deposit on a decent place. Anywhere but here. ANYWHERE is better than the ghetto. I'm ASHAMED of mentioning neighborhood. Put me in second or third worse area, just not here. Atleast I can say, "Atleast I don't live in *** Park" Anyways, my body is gettting to me, I'm wrapping this up. Thanks for advice and stuff people. THAT IS ALL. ~END~