So in my last entry, I wrote how I didn't like a particular unauthenticated comment disparaging me and michelle's unplanned pregnancy. I got quite a few responses from you guys. Most seemed to say that you guys have had similiar things and that the best advice is just to ignore it; or not even to allow such comments. I believe it is the best advice; though emotionally I'm not quite there yet. (you could know something is the right answer but still "feel" like not applying it) I have this thing about me that I really like hearing disenting opinions about me and what I do; which is why I even opted for a public diary. (its why I write strong position essays on here every once in awhild.) And I'm quite ok with such things as it goes part and partial with this sort of thing. Though when I feel that something that is so blantly wrong, I have this bit of self-righteousness about me in feeling that it needs to be correct. (a trait that is both one of my biggest strenghts and weaknesses) This bring me to one particular comment that was written last entry. It was from shellybean. She writes:

"Hey kiddo would it really matter? Also it's an opinion, good or bad it's that. Also you put yourself out there with that entry, and with this blog. You write your personal life for complete strangers to see and not everyone is going to agree with you. Honestly if they did leave an authenticated comment I can guarantee there would some extremist from your camp who felt it was their duty to kick their butts.

You know the truth that's all that matters. I have to be honest I don't think having a kid is good idea either at the moment. I think it would be best if you guys bought a house, had some money put away and the baby was older before you had another, but the new baby is on the way...and well all you can do is love it.

I wish you the best. "

Right way, the term "kiddo" triggered a bit of defensiveness as it seemed to be said in a belittling manner. I read on. I wonder, does it really matter? It is just an opinion as she said. I agree that others are not gonna always agree with me. (perhaps that didn't come off in the entry that I really enjoy contrasting perspectives) At this point I'm thinking maybe I'm overreacting to the whole kiddo thing. Then I read the next part.

"Honestly if they did leave an authenticated comment I can guarantee there would some extremist from your camp who felt it was their duty to kick their butts."

Seriously Shelly? You must not really know me then. I am not some thug (do any of my pictures or entries even imply such?) I know you couldn't be talking about my pregnant 5'0 wife? Yeah, like I'm gonna ask anyone else to find someone in my family, telling them that someone hurt my feelings ON MY DIARY, and find some older fat white lady and rough her up? That is ridiculous. Like I even have actually addresses to anyone's house on here. (well besides kaliko, and her hubby looks kinda tough, so yea) *LOL*

No, I would like to know who it was simply to know who is my friend and maybe let them know that A. what was written was said in a hurtful manner and that they could've phrased it in a more mature manner and B. That they have the right to disagree, but that it seemed to imply a personal attack. Plus, they didn't need to be so snooty about it. Moreover, I don't think I'd last in jail. Look at me, I mean seriously *the pics on the bottom*, 5'7 155lbs and about as intimidating looking as a stuffed snoopy doll. Extremists in my camp ...like I'm apart of al qaeda or something. *lol*

You go on to say "the truth is all that matter" Truth is subjective by the way. To me, it is true that if someone you know doesn't have the integrety to confront me on an issue but sneakly insults me, that yes, like others, when insulted I will have a reaction. We are humans. How others, especially purported friends, affects such things as self-esteem and self-concept. What your really trying to say though is that in the end, its really not THAT important. Yeah, I get that. I understand on a scale of 1-10, 10 being really important, that some rude anoymous comment is about a 1.2, somewhere between whether there will be a new episode of the office tonight and having clean windows. Yesterday was a relatively nice, regular day in my comfortable life, so yeah, I wrote about it after lil tinoz fell asleep. Had nothing else to do in the middle of the night and wasn't sleepy. If you could see my face while writing it, you'd probaly see one similar to the imood face on the top right of this entry; most a smile and an investigative eyebrow.

And the rest of the comment, well I basically know that. Though who says I don't have any money saved? This year was a good year for us. Would indeed have been nice to have the place first and everything perfectly lined up but things like that just happen. I'd go so far to say that subconsciously, we wanted this. Life has more purpose when you're needed and your backs are against the wall and it all rides on you. Michelle and I both also had discussed the fact that we both wanted to maybe hurry and have that second one (hopefully a girl) so that we get it out the way and not end up raising some kid well into our 50's. I'm already starting to see a serious decline in the amount of energy I have and frankly, I dunno if I want my whole life preoccupied with kids spread over a long period of time. However, especially if this is a girl, we're going straight for sterlization. Medically, its easier for the guy so it'll probaly be me and I'm ok with having produced 2, at most 3.

So yeah, that is the basic outline. So far, its nice having lil tino around and I'm sure the next one will make it a bit harder but also fun. I mean, wow, today me and him had the funnest time. He is finally being really responsive to playing around. He laughs at everything now; even when I just saying a sarcastic remark to Michelle. It turns from smirk to an all-out good time because he'll just starting laughing and crawling around really randomly making googly eyes and bopping his head. Its an entertaining sight to behold. Its something I need to record and something I hope this next one is like as well. Dull days like today turn out to be quite an adventure. Anyways, speak of the devil, Michelle is asleep and he's crying. bye