On what seems like a repeat entry, LOL, Jeff calls to start my morning. We talk, some about music, some about girls, some bout christianity. He seems to think I try to purposuly try to contradict him. I told him i don't, just that I have alot of things to sort out in my mind. Also, I try to get him to hang out Saturday, he shoots me down. Says he probaly gonna go on date with Avina, if not he has to work. Is it me, or does that sound like he don't wanna hang out. I asked why he have to work if he don't hang with avina, he just told me he does. *MMM HMMM, yeah right* I asked him to skip work, he said he can't. *interesting how he could if he's dating Avina* Anyways, I let it go. I mean, I think I'm probaly trying to hang out too hard or something. Besides, shouldn't try to force someone. No should mean no. I guess I like to see people's story, see if its air tight. Just something in me. Anyways, he knows I'm upset and was about to get off phone cause he HAD to shower really badly and needed to rush off phone. Then, when I play some jerky boys phone calls, he miraculosly didn't have to shower for another hour. Usually i don't trip, just that I've caught him in lies.

Ok, moving on, guess who emailed me. Is Eliza. *girl who likes me, don't like her* It goes,
Just wanted to write you and say HI so hello how have you been me good and ready for next semester... how bout you?
-Eliza
ps sarry I don't have much to say but one more Q: how was your new years?

I emailed her back with some answers and stuff. I think tomorrow she calls. I left number, I wouldn't mind talking to her.

Later in the day, I go on computer, its ALL jacked up. I ask lil bro what happened. He told me he shut down computer just by pushing button. Also, he got more in trouble when I found out one of the screen names he used on a video game we play is, GOT AN ASS?? I'm not sure why that even makes any sense, but made me concerned cause it had the word ass. He is only 8. After getting really upset over those things, then finding that the sound on the computer didn't work, I yelled at him. He was crying. I didn't feel much bad until my lil sis said, ALEX said he wants to die. I said, "WHAT!!!" So I go to him. I tell him that I still love him and that I won't ground him as long as he promises not to do it again. He promises. I hug him and tell him I love him. HE is ok after that. Later, I check up again on him, he says he don't wanna die no more.

Right now I'm very concerned for him. Why did he say that. I mean, I know he was upset, just, I dunno. He is too young to be thinking bout that. I think I'm gonna sit and find out some stuff bout him. I mean, usually I know alot, but apparently not as much as I thought I knew. I know it sounds dumb, but, I thought he wasn't capable of lieing, much less using a curse word for screen name. He is so good. Maybe there is more to that. I will write down what I find.

Rest of the day was pretty smooth. Got to be pampered by mom. *enjoyed that* Watched tv and did my favorite thing in the world, sleep. :) Eventually, go online for a bit. As I was online, realized knee is slowly getting better, feels slightly better. Hopefully, i see improvement daily. ANyways, that is all. ~END~