Wow! That is what I got to say. I got this private comment yesterday from a good friend. While I can't/won't put the whole thing in its entirty, I'm gonna put the parts that hit home for me. Its one of those kind of comments that may actually affect my life. THe kind of advice where someone has to know you really well to be able to say it. The kind you hope for when you first start an online diary. Anyways, let me put it.

Keep in mind its in portions.

I haven't seen much patience in you at all of late. You want to be happy now. You want God to give you things now. You want everything now. You feel that your life has been hard enough for long enough and that some kind of reward is in order.Yet not once have I seen you thank God for what you do have or for the prayers he did answer.

BTW, did you stop to think how they *my lil bro and sis* would look at you if you chose your new lifestyle? Did you even wonder how it would affect them? You might want to, because I can guarantee that it will.)

You have many, many, many, many friends. I remember when you first prayed for them, right before you started college. Then you got a whole lot of them and some of them weren't good enough. One friend let you down, but I haven't seen you once consider forgiveness. You've been given second chances before, after all. I also remember when you weren't sure you'd get a chance to go to college. And now you're there and you seem to be wasting that chance.

There are plenty of other people who don't have any hope of treatment. There are many more who suffer through their ailments alone. They can only pray for themselves.

Some people have suggested that God wouldn't view something like this as bad or evil since he made us to enjoy it. My opinion, and I have thought this through a lot, is that's just plain bull. God gives us life, but He never made us to enjoy anything that gives pleasure through pain. We make ourselves that way. Something happens to us to get our interest. The more we explore it, the more we feed our interest, which turns into desire. We wire ourselves through practice to enjoy things like that. God has nothing to do with it, other than the fact that He gave you free will to make that choice.

What can i say, the person is right. How easy i forget stuff. How crazy it is how i forget about all this other stuff. Its weird how someone can know more about you than you tend to know about yourself.

Now what? I dunno, i'm kinda in shock. Sorta like i've been brought to reality for a second. A Wakeup call if you will. I guess there is no rush into the unknown. I think i need to do some serious praying of my own.

By the way *person* I'd never ban ya or stop being your friend. Thank you for your comment. Take care and God bless ya.