Yesterday was Easter Sunday. It started with my family going to church. They had another great sermon. The pastor was comparing Christianity to churchianity. It was a funny but interesting sermon about the differences of following God and doing good and just attending church and being passive. As I thought about it, I guess you could say I practice Churchianity.

I go to church every Sunday now and just listen. I learn much but do little. My life isn't what God would want me doing. Yet, despite knowing I can do much better, I stay trapped in some odd but familiar limbo. I'm not evil, but sure as hell not good. Not only that, but part of me says that there is no such thing as good and evil but differing shades of gray. I mean, especially from the non-christian stance, behaviors are just behaviors and what people think of them is relative.

So here I stand once again, trying to reconcile my logic with what is taught in the bible. Do I really have to pick a side? There has to be a happy balance somewhere, doesn't there? I can't just pick logic because that says life is utterly meaningless and my existance is pointless and what I do here means nothing. I just don't believe that. Admitting that would mean that I'm just an evolved animal; just here because some random chemicals decided to hook up to propogate.

The flip side says that the Holy Bible is absolute Truth and that anything to the contrary is nonsense. However, the bible doesn't adequately solve or explain everything in a satisfactory way. Don't make me say slavery! The old testament has the rules about slavery and doesn't outright condemn it. The new testament does condemn it. Plus, those who are not believers are destined for hell, even if they're not evil. I understand Hitler likely going to hell, but what about an atheist firefigher who saved lives during 9/11 and died trying to save others? According to the bible, he'll be burning in hell. Though you just got wonder if God has his lil exceptions. Anyways, where would we be technologically/medically if Christianity had its way? Schizophrenics would be thought to posess spirits. Forget about free speech. Yet, I doubt there'd be less wars.

The best solution I have come to is to act with empathy and love. Both sides teach that in thier own way. Also, there is some consistency in that both say respect is important. Would love to finish but Michelle is here and I'm getting some lunch.