Well again, I'm here reflecting as to just who I am. *run fast, this is bound to be a long entry that only benefits me,hehehehe* After reading my last few entries I decided to look up them personality disorders in my handy book. HEHEHHE After that I decided to look on net to see what it had to say. My conclusion, I may have more than one disorder. Or maybe just a combo of sorts. I eliminated all but dependant and borderline. I believe I'm a bit of both of them. *cause I don't fit in one tidy lil catogory* Though I think I may be more borderline, why, well. Looky what I read about them.
American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pg. 654) describes Borderline Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment;
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation;
identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self;
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating);
recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior;
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days);
chronic feelings of emptiness;
inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights);
The Disease Perspective
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pg. 654) describes Borderline Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment;
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation;
identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self;
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating);
recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior;
affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days);
chronic feelings of emptiness;
inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights);
transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
Dimensions
Here is a hypothetical profile, in terms of the five-factor model of personality, for Borderline Personality Disorder (speculatively constructed from McCrae, 1994, pg. 306):
High Neuroticism
Chronic negative affects, including anxiety, fearfulness, tension, irritability, anger, dejection, hopelessness, guilt, shame; difficulty in inhibiting impulses: for example, to eat, drink, or spend money; irrational beliefs: for example, unrealistic expectations, perfectionistic demands on self, unwarranted pessimism; unfounded somatic concerns; helplessness and dependence on others for emotional support and decision making.
High Extraversion
Excessive talking, leading to inappropriate self-disclosure and social friction; inability to spend time alone; attention seeking and overly dramatic expression of emotions; reckless excitement seeking; inappropriate attempts to dominate and control others.
Low Openness
Difficulty adapting to social or personal change; low tolerance or understanding of different points of view or lifestyles; emotional blandness and inability to understand and verbalize own feelings; alexythymia; constricted range of interests; insensitivity to art and beauty; excessive conformity to authority.
High Agreeableness
Gullibility: indiscriminate trust of others; excessive candor and generosity, to detriment of self-interest; inability to stand up to others and fight back; easily taken advantage of.
Low Conscientiousness
Underachievement: not fulfilling intellectual or artistic potential; poor academic performance relative to ability; disregard of rules and responsibilities can lead to trouble with the law; unable to discipline self (e.g., stick to diet, exercise plan) even when required for medical reasons; personal and occupational aimlessness.
Specific Affects
Affective instability, dysphoric mood, periods of anger, panic, or despair rarely relieved by feelings of well-being and satisfaction, chronic feelings of emptiness, inappropriate, intense anger, intense abandonment fears, sudden despair, panic, fury, feelings of non-existence, depersonalization, reactivity of mood, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, anxiety, shame and guilt, feelings of being evil
Motivations
Want to be free to pursue their desires while still getting dependency needs satisfied.
Behaviors
Behaviors which destabilize personal relationships, idealizing and devaluation of potential care givers and lovers, angry disruptions of close relationships, frantic efforts to avoid abandonment.
Expression of inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger; display of extreme sarcasm, enduring bitterness, or verbal outbursts; constantly seeking something to do.
Shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations; sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends; poor performance in unstructured work or school situations; undermining oneself at the moment a goal is about to be realized; recurrent job losses, interrupted education, broken marriages.
Impulsive, self-damaging behavior, gambling, spending money irresponsibly, binge eating, substance abuse, engaging in unsafe sex, driving recklessly; suicidal behavior, gestures, and threats; self-mutilating behavior.
Childhood
"Physical and sexual abuse, neglect, hostile conflict, and early parental loss or separation are more common in the childhood histories of those with Borderline Personality Disorder" (American Psychiatric Association, pg. 708).
"Borderline offspring of [overinvolved] families are often struggling with dependency issues by denial or by anger at their parents. Whether denied or reviled, these needs for dependency are often being gratified by the family"
Basic Belief: Other people must satisfy my needs. Strategy: Relationship change (D.K.).
Representing themselves as relatively helpless in a hostile world but without a source of security, they are forced to vacillate between autonomy and dependence without being able to rely on either
No one would love me or want to be close to me if they really got to know me.
I can't cope on my own. I need someone to rely on.
I must subjugate my wants to the desires of others or they'll abandon me or attack me.
People will hurt me, attack me, take advantage of me. I must protect myself.
It isn't possible for me to control myself or discipline myself.
I must control my emotions or something terrible will happen.
No one is ever there to meet my needs, to be strong for me, to care for me.
Hey, pat yourself on back if you made it here. LOL. Anyways, I believe most of that is me. Coupled with some of what an dependant is. Kinda is scary when you see some definitons define all of you. *me* Now I gots to find what they say is treatment for this. *just curious* BrB, probaly will update this entry with what I find. *like you care* BYE
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