I talked to Eliza today. Let me explain what happen. I go into the student center and sit down. I see Eliza. She's just there chatting away. *keep in mind at that point I'm mad cause she stood me up* So after like 5 mins, she comes over for the usual hug. I tell, lets go outside. So we go out there, I'm like, what happen yesterday. She's like, What are you talking about. *WHAT DOES SHE MEAN WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT* SO I tell her, You don't remember. She's like no. *at this point my eyes get watery, she didn't even think bout it* So I tell her, I waited for ya. She's like, Oh yeah, that. *At this point still waiting for an apology* She's like well, We *her and her friends* went to the college cafe and ate pizza and drank beer. And they kept refilling. So she just watched them. *SHE WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT ME* At around 2 she said, she decided to leave and go back to the college. Eventually she realized that she left me. SO I say, That's it? *i'm still waiting for an I'm sorry* *also, I'm almost about to cry* So after that, I'm like you know what, Forget about it. SO I go in, get my bag and run off to the libary. *Very near tears, wrong touch would've did it* SO as I'm walking, I'm hoping she comes after me. SHE DOESn'T! *that hurt so bad*

So I'm in the libary, in the corner. Thinking. A lil tear almost comes out, I stop it. Everytime I think about how hurt I was, I almost cryed. SHE DIDn't even remember what she did. She'd rather watch them drink some beer. She wasn't even concered about being on time. I wasn't even on her mind. I feel so stupid. MORE SO THAN YESTERDAY! How could I trust ppl with my emotions. HOW! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!!! NO MORE!!!!!! I'm going back to the way I was. Go to school, leave, do homework, sleep.

After almost letting the water out, I was heading toward the bathroom. Then this girl was like, hey you. I looked, she looked familiar, but I couldn't place her. SO I go there. She's like, your Santino right. I'm like yeah. Then she's like, I got you in my history class. DId you get this paper. I was like, I'm not sure. I look, I did. She's like, take a seat. I sit. I ask her name. IT's Stephanie. I then ask about her major. Liberal arts. She wants to be a teacher. I tell her my major. THen we read our papers. There she is, just munching on cereal. She offers, I get some. Eventually, we walk off to class getting to know each other. *though I really wasn't in the mood for it, I wanted in the bathroom, so I could cry* After that, we go to class.

After class, I get out. There's a festival outside. * I go and buy a hamburger and soda. I'm roaming the campus when I see Eliza. I looked her dead in her eye, then turned away. *I for some reason hoped she would come and talk to me, she didn't* After, I went to wait for the bus. I couldn't even eat. My stomach was full. Full of anger and hurt. Eventually I get on the bus.

Now I'm home, mom is here. GRRR. I wanted to cry freely here, but can't, I don't want her to see me cry. Though right now I kinda am crying. I feel so hurt. Like she took out my heart. Cut it up and threw acid on it. :'( It hurts bad. Real bad. I already had trust issues. How could she not even be thinking bout me. I'm so stupid. How could I invest so many emotions!!! NOT FAIR!!! REALLY HURTS RIGHT NOW. I could barely type. I guess I'll go back to sitting in the corner while in college. HOW COULDN"T SHE APOLOGIZE!!!!! How unsensitive is that. I'm off.