Today I had two very interesting talks. First, let me start out with the chat I had with jayne. That chat started out with my kinda envying her area. *she has really nice digs* SO I tell jayne. Jayne then proceeds to tell me her rags to riches story. In the meanwhile, I'm telling her I can't afford college. *which I can't* Then she tells me bout her brother. How he's making it. *at this point, I'm not caring bout her bro, Sorry jayne* So then she tells me its all in my perspective. That she changed cause she stopped looking at things negatively and that she wouldn't let things get her down. So I'm still with the money issues I got. She's like, it ain't all bout money. Again she goes back to how she overcame adversity. THe sacrifices she made and such. More about perspective. *at that point, I"m not feeling her, I'm thinking,I did the numbers I can't do it* Later she tells me that she wants to work on me being less pessimistic. So we talk bout her caring for me and such. After that, it ends on a good note. *though I still felt like kinda empty*

Then, I got a pm out of nowhere. From navy4u. I thought, A recruiter? Hmmm. SO I confront this person. Come to find out, its definately not a recruiter. ITs someone that reads diaries here at DD. *actually her first time* She says off the bat that she picked my diary cause of the name. *has christiananity in it* So we start talking. First about churchs, then about her writings. She's writing about social and cultural criticism on how she views the world. SO then she tells me about how she may be FBI and stuff. SO I throw in ever so casual, I wish I took your course. THen, she stops me in my lil tracks. Tells me about her life. *a summary* Very dramatic. Not sure if she would have me share it. Put it this way, way more dramatic then my life. *makes me consider my pitiful problems* Then she talks bout the kid she sponsers. *makes my heart drop thinking bout them kids* After, she brings up my diary.

Next, she says a very insightful thing. Here it is, "usnavy4u: I read your diary entry....dont' go out looking for a relationship...you have to know your inner self and you have to come to terms with God and truly minister his word...then, he will give you a woman you can cherish forever
usnavy4u: if you haven't got it, he doesn't want you to have it
and don't worry about what your house looks like....that is what God intended for you to have
So now I'm in awe of her advice. *I feel a certain gentleness in her soul, not this agression I've been seeing* more now; usnavy4u: moral: God gives us the portion of what he wants us to have. As long as we continue our love for him and witness to others and let them know God is Glory, then we are ok. He will take care of us no matter the circumstance....poverty, wealth, etc
She then offers me a book to read. Jesus Freaks: DC Talk, The Voice of Martyrs. *will read* Now, its late, I got to sleep. Will write more about what she said. As for me, she gave me a new perspective on life for some reason. I'm not sure why all the stuff ya'll has said hasn't done this to me. *maybe it all adds up to this* Well, more in the morn. Is late.