UGH! What an ugly day. First, I wake up shivering. *no heater* Is about 35F outside. *1C* THen I go to shower to take hot shower. I get hurried out by big bro. So I go to get breakfast, ugh, no time, go outside. As I am walking to bus I start thinking of my major, social work. I'm not sure I could handle abuse cases. *buggie started me thinking about abuse* The more I thought about the abuse cases the more I started to remember about how my dad use to whoop me with his belt. How my big bro then took over and beat me up like i was his enemy. Was in near tears at bus stop.

Get on campus not in mood to socialize, but I go to student center anyways. There, EVERYONE is there. Almost instantly I'm asked what is wrong. I just reply, "lots of stuff". SO Jeff asks me to go outside. He asks me, I tell him. THen we look for Nacho. NO go. Go to student center. There, Jeff starts talking about how shocked he is that I have no heater. I'm sitting there giving him the look like stop but he don't see. *felt so embarrassed* Eventually subject changes. Avina comes. I head to class after. TEST!

Oh no, I didn't study. Was economics test. OMgosh, I think I did terrible. Sounded foreign to me. Aggregate expenditure, blah blah, interest rates. I finish test leave. To my surprise, my teacher follows me out there. She says, you ok? I tell her no I'm not. She asks if I think i did well. I say no. Asks if I'm feeling better health wise. Tell her no. She says," I'm sorry. You got church helping you through?" I say yes. SHe is like," that is good, hey, take care and i'm praying for you" I thank her and leave. *wow, didn't know she prayed for me* GUess it was good letting her know bout tumor.

Go back to student center. There, everyone is trying to make me laugh. Hands me mad magazine, jokes about all kinds of stuff. Donald trys to ask what is wrong, I don't tell him though. Then Jeff screws up again. Something about alcholics comes up when he says, Hey, isn't that how your mom is? I whisper, don't talk about that. He says aloud, YOu don't want me talking bout it?! I give him look and scoot away from him a bit. Then crazy stalker guy comes and talks to Candace. They make fun of me, so funny, make me laugh. THen go back to depressed mood. *also angry* So i tell jeff I may leave early, he's like," don't go,I want to talk to you while going to bus." I say, "I don't feel in mood for psychology." He nearly begs, I agree to stay. SO he starts to make out with avina. After that, she goes to class. *is too late at this point to go to psychology class* So then, he starts to call his mom. Is like, "oh, i'm not going to bus, sorry you missed your class" I pack my stuff start to leave. HE says sorry again, I say bye. Leave on bus.

Get home really upset. So upset, mom is like, What is wrong. Tell her don't worry about it, a lil late to worry about my life. She then explains its never too late. Atleast she's trying. We then talk some more, she actually comes and give me REAL hug. She had tears in eyes. *this is so not her, maybe she is changing* I go in room.

Jeff eventually calls. Apologizes. After much me saying whatever, I accept. He then tells me bout how God has plan for me. Also tells me that he sees me like a brother and he really cares about me. In fact, by end of conversation, tells me he loves me. *WOW!, never in my life would I think a friend would say that to me* Says he will pray for me at youth tonight. I get off phone feeling better.

So then lil sis wants help studing history, I help her. Oh, she got her report card. B's except in writing, a C. Told her I'm glad she got them grades but I'd like her to push them grades even higher cause I know she can. Also, told her, she will get something for them B's. And A's will be worth even more. Lil bro gots his too, All S's. Is doing great, teacher says his reading level is far above any in her class. *she wants him in GATE* After helping lil sis on history, read some stuff from class. One odd thing though, while holding paper, my hand was shaky. OMGosh. That is scary. And then I come online to write this. I'm shaken up by today, glad results were good though.