Since I don't have anything in particular to write about my day, I'm going to focus on this person my mom told me about. It's this security guard she talks to at work. He apparently talked to my mom several times and it came to my mom's attention that he was lonely. *I think he told her* My mom then says he told her he wanted to talk to me. *after she talked about me I guess* I suppose he's interested in friendship. Michelle remarked that maybe he's gay, and that got a good laugh from the family. Though I didn't see it that way. *I don't think he is* I kinda see him like I used to be. *well, still a lil like that* He goes to college and works too. *same college?*

I think it's very ironic that this happened especially because I just was reading some psychology on being lonely. Seems that loneliness is more prevalent due to society socializing people that success includes having a vast social network and hanging out.

I see this as a great chance to start out totally fresh with someone. THough what ends up happening is that I decide what part of my personality a paticular person will see. SOmetimes people see the nice, quiet, non-offending christian. Other times, they see the malious, outspoken, oft-time offending pessimist. They don't integrate very well. Not to mention my more sensitive side that only Michelle sees.

Ok, more rambling! LOL! Ok, what was i thinking, oh yeah, walls. I like them now. I choose to have selective walls. Depending on the individual, I raise and lower certain ones. They protect me from invaders, yet allow friendly people to come somewhat in. I could never let people offline all the way in. *michelle being the exception* The reason is because I am very vulnurable. *if you read the diary, you know I have alot that can hurt me badly* The real me is not even socially acceptable. So I in essence trade off being 100% real me for compatiblity with others. It's worth it as long as I have Michelle, the person I can be myself with and not worry about her not accepting me or critizing my many double standards of life.

As for tomorrow, I go with Alex, Romero and Michelle to see the first showing of the Matrix Reloaded. *fandango rocks* That should be good. I loved the first one! That is all. ~END~

P.S., thanks ShawdowRose for the websites. I looked at the first 3 so far.