There isn't anything that has changed lately. My life is one big routine now. I wake up early, go to work, go to class, watch tv, eat, sleep @ 1AM, repeat. It allows for a bright future but a dull present. It hopefully will be all worth it one day. I hope. I hope to have a yacht and at the very least, a home either near a lake, beach or foresty area. Its still all a long shot being that less than half finish grad school. Then again, 50% drop out of high school and around 40% out of (undergrad) college. Thus, I have a plan B that will hopefully allow me to achieve my goals sooner.

The big plan is to write a kickass book. I think I know what would get people's attention as I have seen the "excitement" over books that offer guidance to others. I'm thinking of "the secret" and "Happiness Now" as two examples. The problem is that for the book I really want to write, I'd need the right credentials. By that, I mean, without a PH.D, its hard for readers to trust that you know anything. Much less for publishers who are likely to scoff.

What is the great book about? That, I'd have to be a bit vague about as A) I haven't written it and B) I'm a bit paranoid that someone might come across my awesome title and unique idea. Let me say it like this, I have studied the top book lists for commonalities. These books are mostly about helping people deal with thier issues. I think I have a new approach that would be help alot and at the same time, I could do the things I was meant to do. I want to have a family and have plenty of time to take care of them. I want to see the world. I want help those who I know are in legitimate need. I mean, 8 hours a day for the next 40+ years is a horrible thought. Half of our lives are spent working. And when you are working all those hours, you still can't get what you really want in life. What a shame that is.

Why is that such a shame? Isn't work a very respectible thing that society needs to survive? Well, yeah, if someone didn't make roads or maintain them, how'd I get around? But it doesn't mean that I want to do that the rest of my life. I mean, from an atheistic point of view, this may be it and why spend it doing stuff that u don't absolutely enjoy? From a christian perspective, why continue your time on Earth doing mans work when you could spend all that time doing God's work? It just doesn't make any sense why'd we chose this. I think the problem is that people don't chose it. It seems like life forces it apon us. Though I do think this is avoidable. I mean, most of you guys are really smart and could figure out very complex things. Yet, we never use those skills to advance our lives. I dunno.....

Me and Ray had this debate for hours too. That's why I like him as a friend. We always have LONG conversations. He says that work is good for us. That he wouldn't want to stop working cuz he'd just waste his time otherwise. Ofcourse I argued that society forces us to think that because it's a destructive thought that people decide to find ways around working. He says, if you have your ideal job, then its not really like working and therefore, you'd like ur job and not want to give it up.

That is a great point, thing is, most people never get a job that matchs their personality. Instead, they settle for whatever pops up. Then, they complain about how much they hate their job. Yet, if you ask them, they say their job is ok. Though that's just a defense mechanism. If you live with them, you hear how they really feel about thier jobs. Or, just read some blogs. And then ofcourse, you got people who think they like thier jobs. *??* You know, they say it gives them plenty of money and even has a way to advance. But, those things are what we settle for at the end. * i mean, would u still show up to work if you won the lotto?* Making money isn't what life is about. Neither is being some middle manager. Yet, we spend our whole lives doing this. Instead, I think what we really want is to love and be loved. Yet, how much time do we allow for that? Then one day you're old and wonder where the time went. It went to help your company profit. Congradulations!!!

The solution? I dunno yet. I'm almost there. Take advice from the book "the secret" and self-fulfill your life. Change your thoughts and change your life is the mantra of cognitive psychologists everywhere. The big question is, HOW? That's the $10 million dollar question.