After yesterday being such a tough day, seems today is a complete 180. All of a sudden things seem to be falling into place. Is it the praying? Is it coincidence? Luck? DOn't know, all I know is that my mom came up here, my room, and asked me to teach her the computer. Not only that but she was telling me that she's gonna try to stop drinking and that she don't want to be a janitor anymore. Big step, especially since I did't pressure her. On another front, my brother seems more interested in what I got to say about religon.
Oh, and I called Crystal. :) She sounded happy *excited* that I called. She was like, oh, I thought I gave you the number, what happen. So I told her about my tumor and just other stuff. Wow, funny how after only about 10 mins of talking all these old feeling I had for her came back to surface. Though I have been wondering if I really like her, or I'm just looking for someone that'll listen. I mean, she's my complete opposite, she's quiet, not really in christianity, and likes alternative music. I do most of the talking, she's never really saying anything. I don't want to sound like I'm all into myself so I give her chances to cut in. She never really does. I'm always asking the questions. Then again, they say opposites attract. Well, I gave her Ann's number and mines. Yup, I slipped that in there. :) I told her that let's stay in touch. I wanted to say, let's hook up, but I didn't have to gall. I guess since she told me that there was nothing since she was older and I was younger. But that was before we really hung out, got to know each other, in part cause of Ann. I'm still trying to figure out if she likes me. It sounds like it, but I don't want to ask her and get blown off again. That'll hurt me for the next couple of weeks. But then she's so shy that I don't know if she'll ask. Funny, recently I've been going into other diaries telling people don't be scared, share your real feelings. But then when it comes to me, I get scared, scared of what you say, rejection. Knowing I'm not good enough. One way or the other. Well, I'm gonna call her tomorrow, see if she called Ann. I'm gonna try to stay in close contact. Just hope I don't turn into just a good friend person. I know there are other fish in the sea, but I'm just so tired of getting to know someone all over, then tell them about me. I also hope I'm not liking her cause she's a shoulder to lean on. Why, cause, then that means that'll it'll probaly not work. Women always want someone to lean on, not a guy to lean on them. Us guys always have to be the "strong" ones.
Comments (6)
~Amanda
Hopefully God will lead the right person into my life. Gee, I'm sounding really desperate, huh. That's sad. But the truth is, I need someone to be there for me. Someone that I can be close to. Because I'm not close with anyone,well, with God maybe, but not with anyone else and it's tearing me apart. I think about that one song, Because you loved me, and I think, man, I wish I had someone like that.
If that doesn't work, just go to the website and click the different links, it should be easy to find. The story is in seven or eight installments (it's long) and when you're done one installment there will be a link to the next one. Check it out! *HUGS*
I read your previous entry and this one. I am so glad that you called her! Hang in there, you are on the right track with her. Calling her tomorrow is a good idea.
I have to say prayer is working on your mother, not luck. Never give 'luck' the credit when God is moving 'mountians' for you! I will keep praying.
Honey