Well my mom moved out officially. I don't know if I put that, but she has. She is staying at my lil sis's bf's house. She still owes us quite a bit of money. So I don't know if I will have to take her to court. I did get her to sign some paperwork, so I got proof atleast. Its sad that it has to go that route but she is a flaky person.

Soon to be out is probaly Michelle. I don't know how long I could put up with her psychotic crap. I can't date someone who is competely falling apart and refusing to take the responsibilites in her life seriously. I am finally finding my path to success in college and this girl needs to see a psychologist. She has threatened suicide and other things. She is depressed among other things. I think I'll take my chances on my own. I don't see how this will work out when I know for sure I am atleast trying. I know I mess up, but I try. I can't carry her. I can't do it all for her. I mean, I help her compose 3 papers worth 15 hours of my time. All A's. I mean, I hate to do those things. I like my integrity. I just wanted her to be happy. Nope, never her.

I need to move out and get on my feet. I don't know how I will afford to but I have to. That is what is partially holdin me back. I love her too, but I don't know how long I can feel bad for her. I want to fix her like I found my way when I was all tripped out when I was 21. I think that isn't possible. She has to really want it. I just don't get it with her. She is too smart for this. She has a much stronger chance at UCLA than I ever had. She knows all these principles. She knows what she got to do. She is just being stubborn about it.

And then, after this, it will be rough for me. I will be alone. I have alienated my family basically. I haven't had time for friends minus Alex. God knows when I spent some time online with people. I just dunno. Not dates for awhile. Serves me right in a way. I basically begged for a gf. Remember? Now here I am begging to be alone. IRONY. Life is full of it ain't it? I know what to look for now. I have grown a lot. I know what I need to do for myself. I finally "GET IT" These psych classes of mines have finally made it click for me. I think I needed the therapy. LOL. Half the time I feel like the psych professors are addressing me personally. *I know they're not* I just feel so calm now.

I could imagine Michelle reading this. She would say, "That's nice for you, what about me? You weren't so calm when we were arguing. *its true*" I think I mean my outlook on life overall. I still have imperfect moments. I expect that to continue. Michelle would be like, "Yeah, like when you get home. Watch bitch" So yeah............ I dunno. Its like I told Alex before, "it'd probaly would've been over awhile ago if it were easier to do so" Meaning, I can't just say its over. We share a place and finaces together. Might as well be married. That'd just formalize it. So I dunno what will happen. If this continues with her and her over dramatics, then I know how to handle it as I've thought it out already. It'll hurt cuz then I'm physically and emotionally alone, but that's what my psych professors are there for. :D