What I determined is that she has this rage cycle I don't know how to put into words. I heard about it in psychology. It goes a lil something like this. Stimuli *I didn't clean her bucket*--> Personal myth *People who don't do things I want don't really love me*-----> Internalization *He don't love me, I will get angry to make him* -----> Biological response *release of adrenaline, cortisol, norepinephrine* ------> Reaction *rage, throwing and breaking things* --------> Secretion *the body takes up the hormones and opposite effect occurs*-----------> She then crys and wants to make everything ok.

This happens with us every so often. At first, I thought I really messed up. But what this event showed me is that she may have a problem. *besides OCD* I initally thought anger management. Though she usually doesn't have anger in general. So is she bottleing them up? Maybe. I am gonna try to attack the personal myth. Though those things are tough to crack from what I have read. Society reinforces those things. Apprantly, everyone has them. Though they usually aren't as extreme. Some its that people don't give them attetion or recongition. They take that as no one loves them. The serotonin releases and they they're crying. So yeah...... Even though they logically know better, doesn't seem to matter much. I'm like that sometimes. So I dunno what to do with michelle. I can't even stop myself sometimes. Even right now I'm thinking about the lack of comments I've gotten lately. *besides from Krissy* Shouldn't matter but does somehow to me. I try to stop and remember that people are busy.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention the good news. A job called me. They seen my resume on monster.com They want me to work in the call center making appointments. The great part is the pay. Can you say $18.00 an hour. OH YEAH, that's what I'm talking about. That's the kind of pay I've been waiting for. Atleast the A.A in Psychology probaly helped me finally. *did I ever mention I had an AA before? Well yeah, 3 of them. Others in Social Science and General Ed. So anyways, I'm stoked about the job. Anyways, I should go now. Its late. This lil wannabe psychologist is sleepy. nite