Boy when I woke up I was SO tired. Guess I didn't get enough sleep. SO I go to mirror to see what I look like. OMGosh. I look terrible. Cheeks all puffy and eyes really red looking. There was no way I was gonna get away without taking a shower. SO I do. I get out, get dressed, I STILL look like crap. After avoiding the family, I run off to school.

As I get there, I kinda run to student center. *my hangout* THere, I go on couchs there. I lay there with pillow on head. *just about 10 feet away from where my group was* They didn't even notice. *though main people I care about weren't there* So I stay there for a good hour, get up, go straight to bathroom. I look in mirror, I look alright, so I go to cafe to get some pudding and cupcakes.I go sit back near couchs. Avina comes in. Sits with group, calls me over. I hesitate go over. *keep in mind I'm not in the mood to really socialize* SO they're there, at first talking about nonsense. THey try to joke with me, I'm not even cracking a smile. THey notice something is wrong. They ask what is wrong, I tell them I'm frustrated. So I'm there, sad, then somehow funerals come up. Gets 2 of the girls upset. Then somehow Avina got upset. *she found out Jeff wasn't gonna be there* So 3 girls upset and me. All talking about death. John and some other dude was there, I wish they weren't. They seemed WAY too cheerful. I know why girls think most guys are insensitve. WHile they were sitting there near in tears talking about funeral, they were joking around, cracking smiles. SO eventually Avina asks me if I want to get Donald and go to lunch. *I agree*

We go get Donald. He don't wanna come though. He is with April. *think he likes her* So we head toward McDonald's when we see Candace. She wants to go to KFC. I ask her if she got her own money. *she usally muches off people* She is like yeah. We go over there. Buy the food. We talk about all our problems and stuff. Was ok. I got full fast, only ate 1 piece of chicken and 2 biscuits and a few sips of soda. We head back on campus. While heading there, we see Donald, find out he looked for us. *awwww* So he comes with us back to student center.

Somehow we start talking about tumors. *think Candace brought up hers* Told us how she found out. Its Ovarian cancer. She might not be able to have kids. After, I told my story. Then someone else told thier hospital story. After that, Avina goes sits with some lady, studies. *she is still sad* I end up talking with this computer geek guy, he don't look the part, but he is one. He knew WAY more than me. *I thought I was pretty knowledgeable* Bores Meagan, she leaves. *she is the one that brought up funerals I think, she is nice, me and her kinda click well, though I believe we wouldn't ever get together or anything, she has this fat crush on this dude Carlos* Anyways, after that, dude leaves. Candace couldn't stand him. Gets quiet. Avina leaves. I decide to leave after feeling Candace and Awilda wanted to talk. I leave.

I go to see if I see Eliza really quick. * I DID promise her I'd study with her* Didn't find her. I go to bus, go home. My mom is home and I kinda give her attitude. After that, I fall asleep. I wake up, I'm STARVING! I ask where the food is, my mom is like, there is none. SO I get mad, argue. She had money I gave her, so she didn't have that excuse. *Still did* SHe eventually heads to supermarket. *she tried to find a ride, but couldn't, so took the bus* I tryed to call Jeff, to see what was up with him since he wasn't at school. He didn't answer. After which, I come here on computer, check comments, write this entry. Thanks all that did leave notes of concern. I feel slightly better. Too tired to cry I guess. I know, I shouldn't dwell on this nonsense and move on, but its not working. :( I know, pray. Just not making me feel better. Anyways, I'm off, its time to stop indulging in my self-pity. Need to foucs on a game or something. I don't know. Oh, by the way, my grandma does have ammonia. I probaly will visit her tomorrow. My mom still has that fine thing pending, not sure if they'll really come and get her monday or not. Anyways, I'm not up to speculating. That is all.