So I wake to take shower. I go in, and the water ain't working right. Neighbors are messing with hot water. *what a start* SO I get out eventually. After that, I go to living room to get ready for college. There, my mom tells me she needs $150 for rent. GRRR $50 extra cause of big bro. He hasn't paid his share, so guess who they decide to zap. SO after that I go to bus. Ride to college.

At the campus I find no one there. SO I go in for a makeup test in Economics, teacher ain't there, so I go back in student center and nap. Eventually Jeff and Donald come in. He asks if I'm ok. I tell him not really. SO we talk about what happened Friday and stuff. After, Avina comes in, he leaves with her. He tells me to call him when I know what happened. So I'm there with Donald till 12. *oh yeah, some others of group came in* Go back to Economics class. I get out. I find Avina, Jeff and Donald outside. DOnald comes in and Avina come in. We talk for a bit, then John comes in. Avina goes outside with Jeff again. He has to go. So Avina comes back in. IS annoyed cause John is there. SHe tells us she wants to go to McDonalds. Luckily John didn't invite himself. So we are walking there, I am like Really sad. *I think they could tell, not sure* As were walking, I see Dario and Eliza coming up the street. I say aloud, I hope she don't start up with me. *I forgot to study with her on Sunday* After a delayed hug, we talk. Just briefly, tomorrow we will study. * I REALLY don't want to* So We continue walking to McDonald's. THere, Avina and Donald get meals. I can't get anything, they don't take atm cards. So there I am, in my own world while they talk and eat. I was kinda hoping one of them would offer to get me something. *they didn't* Even though I've treated both twice. ANYWAYS, I end up scraping up change and getting 2 apple pies. *oh yeah, was on sugar spree, had got dounut and ho ho's earlier* After that, we head to college. I have to go get my bus. I was kinda hoping they'd wait for bus with me, they didn't though. I wait, it comes, I ride, its almost 2:30. SO after a few bus transferings, I arrive at endocrinologist.

WHile there, I find out appointment was at 2:00. *OMGOsh* SO I'm like, now what? They say, make another appointment. I nearly freak out in there. THey call doc in, after looking at time, I could hear her complain to docs that she was gonna leave in 10 minutes. I don't care, long as I could see her. SO I'm in. She is like mad at me?! Is like, why you late. I ask, what are my results like, and what is gonna happen? She says, Results look fabulous. SO we go in office. Results are good, levels of hormones are good. SO I'm like, why I feel like crap. SO I hand her list of my symptoms. So goes over them very fast, acknowledges most of them. Is like, well, nothing I can do, you have to continue pills. SHE DIDN"T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE the part where I put depression. I asked her about it, she said,that is not her field. I say fine, how is my tumor, what will I need to do. She says, I don't know, all I do is check hormones. SHe says that I will have to go to neurosurgons. I ask, what about the levels, can't you go off that. She says, well, no, just means we stopped the prolactin the tumor makes. So I say, is it bigger or smaller! she says, probaly smalller, but could be bigger. *WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!!* So then she says that she will see me in 3 months. Also, that to start testostorne. *I got first shot today, I go in every 3 weeks for shot, for 6 months* She leaves. I'm like REALLY UPSET. I go to receptionist, schedule neurologist, I should expect to see him in a month. They will call and schedule it up in a week or so. *THAT"S IT?!* I catch bus home, really upset.

At home, I call Jeff. He can tell I'm upset, Asks if I'm ok, I tell him NO! So he asks me what happened, I tell him. He asks if I'm crying, I tell him yes. HE wants to stay on line but he was busy. He then asks before getting off If I'm gonna kill myself. I tell him no. He asks if I thought about it. *I paused for a few seconds* I told him no. He then gets off. I wipe away tears go to room. I've been here for awhile, I'm a lil alright for now, just thought I'd tell everyone before I plant myself on the bed all night. Oh yeah, Jeff wants to talk tomorrow. I'm not sure I will go to school. If I do, he is lucky, will only be because I think it is fair I talk to him. Otherwise I will stay on my bed all day. Anyways, that is all for now.