Lately, besides all the running around I do between work, school, and home, I've been wondering about creation and evolution. My anthropology class has me wondering this. Both have strong arguments and ramifications for my life. I had once before thought I knew all the answers, but as I have found online, I didn't know the half of it. There is so much information out there that it could drive one mad if he or she had to sift it out. So I basically chose 3 sites for my sources. One easy to read pro-creation one http://www.wiebefamily.org/e.htm and one easy to read pro-evolution one http://atheismawareness.home.att.net/questions/believe_evolution.htm, and one middle ground one, http://www.creation-vs-evolution.com/

Well, after going to all these lil places I have to say each side doesn't conclusively sway me either. Evolution has many holes, as the pro-creation site shows. THe Evolution site wasn't the best, but from what I know, natural selection and stratified rock containing fossils are the strongest points evolution has. The middle ground site has some great quotes like "Christianity: Not Religion – A Relationship
Christianity is not really a religion; it is a relationship with God. It is trusting in Jesus and what He did on the cross for you (1 Corinthians 15:1-4), not on what you can do for yourself (Ephesians 2:8-9). Christianity is not about ornate buildings, flamboyant preachers, or traditional rituals. Christianity is about truly accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior."

The middle ground site also has this set of questions I think best summerizes my questions "In regards to the Big Bang Theory how can nothing explode? This is contrary to the First Law of Thermodynamics. How can simplicity become complexity? This is contrary to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Never have we observed an explosion cause order. Only disorder. Why did this explosion of everything (from nothing) order itself? Where did mathematical and physical laws come from? The laws of gravity, conservation of angular momentum, inverse squares, cause and effect, etc. Where did Hydrogen come from? Where did the information inherent in DNA come from? Where did the language convention that interprets DNA come from? How do we explain retrograde motion? What about "voids" and "clumps"? How did life come from a rock? How did a bird come from a lizard? Why don't we see birds come from lizards today? Why are there no transitional fossils? Why have we never observed beneficial mutations? Evolutionists maintain that matter acting on matter for a sufficient period of time can create anything. They contend that given enough time anything is possible. This is contrary to the Second Law, which states that time is the enemy of complexity. Evolutionists insist, however, that given enough time, time itself becomes the mechanism that brings forth complexity from simplicity. However, this still does not explain where the simplicity came from in the first place."

So, after all this reading I'm still confused as to what to believe. I am slated towards believing in God because what I personally have experienced. So frustrating. I just want to know so I can know what to live my life for. I don't want to try to live for God if there isn't one. Yet, I don't want to be selfish and then learn once I die that there was indeed a God and it was the one I had once worshipped. *or a third twist, there is a God, but not the christian one* OMGoodness, that'd frighten me if the christian God isn't GOD. That would me I was just cultured wrong.

Well, I'm done with all that for now. As for my day, I went to work. At work, Michelle got into an argument with this girl Sophia. The girl took her chair. Michelle took it back. Sophia said she'd flash on Michelle. Eventually supervisors find out. They discusss the issue and then decide to take chairs from all of us students. I didn't like that, it made my life just that much more frustrating.

On campus, I seen Alex. I forgave him for squezzing an orange in my face on purpose. *not after I got some stuff from the cafe* Seen Donald, I think he's lying about asking out this girl Nataleia. He says at first she was in a rush and didn't say anything to him, then changed it to sayins she said yes, then reverted back to his original story. I feel like he shouldn't have to lie to me. I think he feels obligated to get someone because nearly everyone has a girlfriend/boyfriend in the group we hang with.

As for classes, they are going ok. Major test in my anthropology class soon. Other ones aren't for another couple weeks. Other than that, things are good in that department of my life.

In my family life, my mom is being nicer to me. Sometimes I wonder if she knows the website to this diary because lately she has been knowing stuff I surely haven't hinted to her. In any event, I appreciate it because before the last few days, she had been treating me and Michelle harshly. That was a concern for me because I want this place of mines comfortable for her. I don't want it to be hostile for her.

Well, I'm just about done. I'm feeling ok. I think it would be better if I had a car and maybe a less crazy family. I know there is worst. Just sometimess its hard to believe. Also think I'd feel better if my grandma were still around. I miss her and stuff. I generally don't show it around the family though because I'm not comfortable with them to show me sad. Sometimes I don't even show Michelle when I'm a lil down because I naturally hide it and eventually swallow it. Lately, its just been for a few moments though, nothing like I use to be. Michelle has helped alot in that. I doubt she realizes how much she has helped me. I'm ALOT more emotionally stable than ever. Still, not perfect, but I can't expect that. Anyways, i'm rambling. THat is all. ~END~