The day started fairly well. *the 12th* Me and Michelle had the day off due to the fact state workers don't work on Abraham Lincoln's birthday. So we go to the college early to return a book she had checked out. We do that and hang out. We eventually see some of my friends. Alex, Eliza, Donald among others. They are surprised to see us. They thought we'd be working. Anyways, we talked for a bit before they went to class.

Alex and Donald eventually show up and we're all hungry. After much hesitation, I decide we can all go to McDonald's. Alex decided to treat me. Though I didn't save anything because I ended up having to treat Michelle. *no big deal* He treated me to make up for the whole juice squirting incident. We have pretty good time talking. Alex, Michelle and me decide to go to downtown. Me and Michelle were gonna get our valentine's day gifts. So we go.

Alex heads with me, Michelle goes out on her own. I am REALLY happily walking around the mall trying to find out exactly what MIchelle wants. I first head to FOREVER 21. I get her a $50 gift card. I then proceed to the Hallmark store and get a touching card, almost get this soft white bear. I then go to the Sweet Factory to get her a few candies. That is where I see her getting me candy. At this point, I'm not to happy to see her yet. Though that was that.

We leave the store and then I tell her I'm not done yet. She was like, "OH, well I'm done, I got yours already" I then tell her I got her 3 things so far. 2 little things. One worth more than the other, and the candies. Michelle then asks what the one littler thing is. I tell her its a very touching card. She then says," A CARD?!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH A CARD! I HATE CARDS! Only my friends get them for me and that's when they're being cheap." I then tell her to read the card. She then scans over it and says, "I don't care what the card says, its what someone else has said. Take it back" I ask her if she is serious. She insists she is. SO I take it back. While there, I ask if she would've liked the bear they had in the store. She says it wasn't big enough and I should know that. She then grabs some decorative lollipops and tells me I should've got her that instead.

At that point, I'm out of the mood I was in. I tell her that she should appreciate the thought atleast. She said to me, " What is the thought gonna do for me, I want something I like" At that point, I tell her I'm through shopping for her and she better appreciate what I got for her. We then end up at the front of the mall. After taking ALex, we start going at it again. She insists she got me what I had wanted. I then guess what it is. Its a video game. I am right. Though it isn't the number 1 thing I wanted, I told her I appreciated it all the same. I then ask her if she likes the gift card. She looks it over and tells me its ok. I then shout, "OK?!!! You unappreciative little explesitive" I tell her she is lucky she got what she did considering my finances. At this point, we are mad at each other. We then have to go back to the college because we have class.

We ride the bus to the college and fight some more. She then starts to say stuff like she isn't sure about our relationship and to leave her alone. Eventually I leave her alone and go fall asleep in the student center. She then wakes me up with a kiss about 20 minutes later. We then talk before our classes. We then go to the classes.

After the classes, we go home. I am happy about my gift and go and play the video game. Actually, I try to read a few old log entries for a few reasons I'm not ready to disclose. I can't get enough time to do what I want to because she is next to me on the computer. So I play my video game. It is fun and I proceed to sleep.

I wake up and go off to work. *the 13th now* I knew it wasn't gonna be the same now that our supervisor has seperated us. She does mail, I file and sort. I was a LONG day. Though we missed each other dearly. We finally get out and go to the college. At the college, instead of studying, we sleep. We get up and go to Denny's.

While going to Denny's, Michelle got more and more frustrated. When she arrived, she wasn't happy because they didn't have the seafood she hoped they had. What was worse was the customer service and the cardboard like food they had there. She is then very frustrated. I manage to barely get us a ride.

We get home and she like kinda loses it for a lil while. She started to break pencils, cd cases, and then decided to cut one of the stuffed animals. After all that, she then gets depressed because she is struggling here. She isn't used to having to work. She isn't used to having to look out for herself. She is used to her parents providing everything in her life. SO she starts crying. That then triggers me. I get depressed because I can't possibly give her what she wants out of life. Though I know logically that isn't my job, I want to be some kind of help. I felt like her sadness was my fault. I brought her here. I knew she'd get bummed about how I have to live and survive. So after some comforting, it all was ok. Tomorrow, I dunno what I'm gonna do for valentine's day besides some restaurant. I'll figure something.

As for the comments yesterday, I appreciate them. To Diane, you sound pretty right about my family and myself. Didn't know you prayed for me daily. That's awesome. As for always looking for happenings, i think your right on that too. I never looked at it that way. I appreciate the insight into myself. And thank you for you concern and care, means alot to me that I have a connection out there still. That is all. ~END~