Man, what a struggle this maintaining inner happiness really is. I mean, I've finally came to the point in my life where I feel inner peace and now I'm like ok, now what. Its like I'm anticipating the next negative thing in my life. Grrrr, Not explaining what I feel right. I am happy but scared. Also I'm feeling like maybe I"m just delusional. Maybe I'm not REALLY happy but just started to act it so much I'm starting to believe my own lie.
I dunno. Its hard to STAY happy. Easy to be happy for a given instance and stuff but to stay that way. It is VERY HARD. So far, I keep telling my self when I face a sad situation that it will get better and things will turn to ok. Thing is, that could be a lie in itself. I mean, things don't always turn out ok. This ain't tv. In real life, mothers die, best friends backstab, family treats you worse and worse. YOu get my point. Life doesn't always get ok. But then if i agree with that, then I get depressed. UGH!
Man, just read that, that entry is poorly written. I'm sorry for wasting your time. Has no real consistancy or point. *neither do most my entries* Wait, I write for me. *REMEMBER TINO* ANyways, I'm not sad. I hope i"m not coming off as such. I'm HAPPY. Seriously. Just, I guess I am waiting to come off this high. Or maybe me writing like this is part of me taking myself off of the high. I dunno, hard to maintain happiness when you face a difficult life or a screwed up self image. Ok, got to think, what advice would I give myself. *since I'm able to give so much on the net* Well, take life one day at a time. Don't give up. Life has its ups and downs, just enjoy the ups, when down, just pray. Heck, pray all the time. *what else* To stay happy, you got to give your life over to God. IT isn't about happiness, its just about being ok. LEVEL IT OUT. Just be ok and minimize your emotions. *atleast the negative ones*
OK, enough of me trying to give self advice. LOL, I'm crazy. LOL. I know all the write words I think. Just i need to apply it to my life. I got to believe what I know. *sounds like advice I gave my online bud* Anyways, I'm through, got to get ready to go camping. I should be happy. Excited. Overjoyed. Which i kinda am and kinda not. I have a hard time enjoying stuff. *completly letting go* Ok, I'm done.
Comments (3)
*ahem* Firstly, many times it is about being happy. To quote from a movie, "If God took the trouble to tell us 800 times in the bible to be glad and rejoice, He must have wanted us to do it."
Second one, from the quote box up in the corner of the diaries, though I can't remember who from. I just saw this yesterday: When you believe in something it is either true, or becomes true. (Hint: Try believing that you are happy.)
Last of all, from the radio today, and one that I should take to heart often: "Don't tell God about how big your problems are; tell your problems how big your God is."
>^..^<
*meow* :p