im not a christian, and i dont find it funny in the slightest. i feel people have to earn your trust and if they break it then they dont deserve to be in your life.
sorry, but that is my opinion, and only my opinion for what its worth.
take care
K xxx

Well, we were told to forgive and it wasn't conditional. Saying "I'm not Jesus," and "It's not that easy" aren't valid excuses. Of course forgiving isn't easy, or Jesus wouldn't have commanded it. He also knows it isn't easy. That isn't the point. I'm also not telling you to run right out and forgive him. You have to do it in your own time. BUT, know this -- if you don't forgive Jeff it will hurt him, but not as much as it will eat away at you. An unforgiving spirit, ultimately, only hurts the one who is holding on to it.

"Forgive and forget" is a beautiful sentiment, but it isn't realistic. We are human. We have minds like a steel trap when it comes to wrongs in our lives. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting about, but letting it go. It is no longer and issue, and if it comes back to your remembrance you turn it lose again rather than sit on it and stew about it.

As for him telling his girlfriend -- I can't excuse that, but I do understand it. When you are in that kind of relationship you feel like that person is your other half. How easy is it to keep a secret from part of yourself? To him, she is his best friend, and when he is concerned about you as a best friend, he needs someone to talk to. I talk to my best friend in confidence, and I know she discusses some things with her husband, but I also know he doesn't go around talking about it to anyone. It stays between the two of them. It is the same with me and my hubby. As long as she doesn't discuss it with anyone else, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I know you are uncomfortable with it, so the only advice I can give you is not to tell Jeff things you don't want anyone else to know.

You DO need to talk to him. Explain how you feel, how it has upset you, etc. Also let him know that you have forgiven him and want to be friends again, but because you've been deeply hurt you can't share important intimate truths like that with him. That should pain him deeply, but also make him realize he stepped over the line of friendship.

hugs & prayers

As a Christian, I too have wrestled at times with forgiveness. I know how difficult it can be at times. Pray to God, as will I that He gives you the direction you are looking for.

You know the answer to this one, Tino. Don't let the anger and hurt control you.

And if you think about it, you know exactly where this whole thing started, and it wasn't Jeff.

>^..^<

Hi Tino,
The real question is, do you still want his friendship?
Do you still want to be friends with him?
If you do, you can forgive him, but forgetting won't be easy.
I personally would forgive.
He is intitled to a second change, if that what you want to do.
But, I would not share any more secrets or anything that I would not want to get out.
Once something like this happens between friends, it changes the closeness that they once shared.
Things between you won't ever be the same.
You will know what I mean.

Good Luck!
Honey