I tell him to call his dad back and plead my case. I told him to "sound passionate about it" and to "tell its your house and you can do what you want". He calls his dad and says, "He says he has nowhere to go". He is then agreeing with him and and all this. He then hangs up. He says that he still hasn't changed his mind. I'm wondering, "why is he such a jellyfish, he needs to stand up for me if he really is concerned about me". So he just kinda ignores me and calls up a friend. I'm thinking, "Does this guy know that this is really serious to me or what. I dunno why thier being assholes. Damnit, what am I going to do"?! So I go take a shower and cry in there. I'm mad and sad at the same time. I then get out.

He is talking to a friend and he is going to come over. I'm like fuck, I don't want to socialize right now. So I go online. He and his friend are just laughing about stuff and it's pissing me off. I don't say anything and just listen to some Linkin Park. He leaves and then some online girl calls him. He talks to her then he gets a call on the other line. Some other guy wants to come over. I'm thinking, sheesh, what is the deal with him inviting people over today. The guy comes over and he is still on the phone with this girl. He stays on 20 minutes after his friend showed up. I'm thinking, "What is up with Alex, he usually is so polite and nice" He finally starts talking and there he is laughing about stuff again. I listen to some more music. Then, it's 7:30 and his dad shows up. He tells me that he thought it'd work out atleast for a little while but Alex was saying stuff like he wanted to be alone and that he felt he couldn't do stuff in his house and so on.

Immediately I start to feel betrayed. He never told me this. I asked him to tell me honestly what he thought about everything. I asked him several times. He even makes a big deal about always being honest. So I tell his dad that if that is how he feels, I'll go to a motel because I didn't know he felt that way about me. *all the while I'm trying not to get too emotional* So he says that we could do it today or tuesday. I told him right now would be best. SO he leaves to unload his truck. Michelle says by Tuesday we should try to get a place where Alex is, atleast for now. *month to month lease* So it sounds like a plan and I tell his dad about it. He is ok with it.

I tell Alex about it and he says, "I'm cool with it". I reply, "Are you really"?! I just look at him. I wait for him to say the tinyest thing that would just make me say what I really thought of him. He just goes in his room.

I have a booming headache and I'm stressed. Had 2 exams and 1 quiz the next day and this guy betraying me. I lay down and I'm crying like hell. I don't know why I'm so damn upset. I know logically its no big deal, but my emotions didn't seem to care. Michelle was being mean to me at first. She was telling me to stop overreacting and that we'll be ok. *in a mean tone* So I tell her not to tell me how to "think, feel, or act". I lay down with the blanket on the floor and let it out. Eventually, Michelle comes over and pets me and massages me. She talks to and comforts me. I'm thinking "Thanks but, aren't you suppose to be more emotional than me". Eventually, I feel a little better and sleep. Wake up and have to study. Take a quiz in physics. Study for Research methods in Psyc exam. Take exam and study for Biological psychology. Take exam and have another big headache. I come here to the libary to write this entry.

Right now, I'm not sure what to do about Alex. I want to yell at him for saying shit to his dad behind my back. I don't want to lose the friendship. I also don't want him to totally regret helping me. I did and do appreciate that. No one else has ever helped me as much. Yet, I did pay $200 and do just about every chore for him. I think the best way would just to calmly talk about his mistakes, yet just talking about it makes me so pissed.

I wonder if I can let go of this eventually. Right now, I feel like we're not cool friends like I thought we were. I wish he could've had some balls and been up front. Hmph, he alwys talks about it being better to be upfront then lying. Yet, he has lied to me, his friends when he says his dad didn't visit, and his dad, when he says he didn't spill anything or barely use the bathroom.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm going through such a nightmarish month. Is "GOD" testing me? Dumb (bad) luck? *probaly* Am I not conducting my life right? I mean, what's up with this. I know people in Iraq and Africa have it worse and I should be somehow grateful that I have the oppurtunities that I do, but instead I look at the college students here that have petite problems. I dunno.