Ok, some other qualities that I think define me are, being humble, sharing, and somewhat considerate to what people think. Ok, first one, being humble. I think the situations i've been in have kinda forced me to be. Like being poor and being put in my place whenever I showed just a bit of arrogance or pride. Hmm, I do wonder.
Next is sharing. I do like to share. I go by a share and share alike type thing. Where if I have it, I help you. If you have it, you help me. Not the best thought i think cause then I end up a bit angry when someone doesn't go by this system. Like if you have a cell phone and I need to call someone, offer me the cell phone, don't make me go to pay phone. And if your hungry and I got enough for your lunch, and you don't have money, I got your back. I'm thinking i'm like this cause I just rationilized it out. Not sure if there is one definate event in my life that formed this thought. Maybe cause I shared with lil bro and sis and they helped me out like doing chores. COuld be.
Think next thing is caring what others think. Looks wise, I could care less what others usually think of me. If I only have jeans with a small hole and they can't accept that, oh well. THink I don't care much about that cause I never did follow fashion cause I never hung out with a group while growing up. As for my image, I like to portray who I am usually by wearing a modern causal type clothes. Probaly cause I think it best gives off impression of who I am. Speaking of that, alot of my actions are kinda swayed by what others would think. Sorta like not saying cuss words. I don't want them having that image of me. Why do I care, cause people treat people different based on words. Face it, its true.
Actually, there is another thing I want to cover which is a part of me. A part of my thinking which shouldn't. Its being envious. I am in general pretty jealous type person when it comes to things. I'm nearly positive its cause I grew up poor always wanting. Then when I see someone having, kinda hurts cause I feel at times I will never have. Usually when I mention to person i'm kinda jealous, they say, "work hard and one day you will have it" "it will happen, you will have it, just you watch" I don't believe that cause I don't believe everything ends in happy endings. I know alot of "hard working" people that don't "have it".
Wow, that was pretty pessimistic. Another part of my character I probaly should cover, heck, why not. I always feel things won't turn out. Or once the tide is turning, it'll never turn back. I'm thinking I'm like this cause when I was hopeful that things would turn out better, it has backfired. I know how to correct this. I need to have more faith in God. Which is hard for me cause I sometimes feel he too has let me down. Its really up and down with the pessimistic thing. Usually is relative with relationship with God. More God, less pessimistic and vice versa.
WHich kinda leads to trust. I don't trust him like I should. Probaly cause I don't even trust self since I've made some DUMB decsions in my life. As for trusting others, hmmm, lately i've opened up some what, but before a couple months ago, I was very not open. Guess I'm suspicous of others motives. Why, probaly cause what my family has done to me. I know, everyone is diff. Just, sometimes I have hard time believeing that. *very irrational*
If you made it this far, then your a POWER reader. HEHEHEHE May make this entry private eventually cause knowing all this about me someone could use against me in future. Like how to really upset me. No, that is stupid logic, there I go being suspicious again. LOL! Ok, enough looking at my life people, go interact with humans. Real ones. END
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