Just me, here. Up late, have alot of stuff on my mind; like meaning of life and the afterlife. Also about how I went from being so nice to being a negative person.
There could be so many meanings to life. From a scientific point of view, I am here out of randomness and my goal is to pass on my genes to another generation. There is no afterlife, just utter nothingness. From the point of view of an average joe, I'm here to enjoy life til it ends. *or not* The afterlife is up in the air. From a religous point of view, I'm here to serve a God(s) *though I'm monotheistic, or am i?* and my goal is to do what God wants me to do here which includes but *definately* isn't limited to worshiping, spreading the word, changing myself, and much much more. After death, I will either go to "heaven" or "hell". Or maybe some new Earth.
I'm not which I believe. I like the scientific perspective because its logic. I don't like its coldness. The P.O.V. from the average joe is nice but feels selfish. The religous perspective is nice because of the meaning and peace of mind it offers. The problem with it is that it lacks falseifyblity. While I've heard MANY *too many* times that nothing in the bible has ever been disproven, not much has been soildly proven beyond a doubt. It's difficult to disprove something. There is no way to even soundly disprove animism. *sigh* This subject is depressing to me. I just wish I could totally believe in something and let that be that. I'm so damn scared of not living my life right and logical. Who is right? Who is looney? Is there someone/something out there loving me and has a plan for me or not. Am I just a lucky developed sperm? Am I me only because of this culture I'm in?
So many voices in the head. *I'm not schizophrenic* There's people like kaliko, shadowrose, niels and other christians saying one thing. And the other side like my anthropology professor, science article writers and my inner skeptic saying another. Both have good cases. I know I'm prone to favor the christians. I always seen them as "the good guys". I grew up that way. The other side always seemed cold, arrogant and ignorant, though as I listen to thier side of the story, thier alot more articulate than I gave them credit for. Thier alot like me. They want all that I want too but want sufficent logic/proof. Then again, are they part of "the devil's plan". Is science and critical thinking the devil?
Like I said, I want to believe. I think I need to believe. When I read back on old entries, I realize there is a direct correlation between my belief in God and happiness. As one goes up, so does the other. I need something to push me into one direction. I'm at the proverbial "fork in the road". *and no I can't pick it up wise guy* Do I go left or right. The road won't let me walk down the middle. Other stuff in other entries. That is all. ~END~
Comments (2)
Know what? I can't give you an answer. This is decision time. All I do know is, you've put in more research into science than you have God. How is that going to help?
As for MY answer for MYSELF - Have you seen some of the numbers and odds for what science claims to have happened, like everything being created out of nothing? Mind-bogglingly big numbers! It would take me more faith to believe in those odds than to believe in God. The more I learn of the sciences and how massively complex even "simple" things are, the more I'm amazed to see how well it all works together and think that some believe it all happened by chance. I see designs and patterns, and that makes me want to know the creator.
You have to find your own answer. I can only recommend that you do the research.
>^..^<
The thing is that i do not believe the disciples made up the whole Jesus thing. So my belief that Jesus is real and probably did the things he did makes me keep believing. It is very hard for me to just accept everything though. I have to keep on researching and looking for God. The fact that Jesus is real is the one constant that keeps me believing. I even thought about becoming a muslim because that religion has a lot of science mixed with it. But because i cannot believe that the followers of Jesus (fishermen) made up the crucifiction and died for that story i'm still sticking with christianity. But it isn't easy for me to believe at all. So i think and think about the things Jesus said and try to make sence of it all so i can understand it. A lot of times i feel like giving up, but i know i'd just be lying to myself. So i keep on going trying to understand the meaning of it all and what Jesus really wanted.
But to say i'm one of those happy i accept it all Christians, not at all. I wish i could be. I'm just glad that i know Jesus must have done those miracles and died and came back. Even from a scientific point of view that is pretty reliable. I think i would have never believed much otherwise.