Well, today started great. Had mad a cd for my friends to listen to on campus. So I get there and find at moment no one has cd player. Jeff comes in, he has one! I SHow him cd, he plays. He likes. SO does everyone else. They all can't wait to listen actually. :) They all get turns and love lots of the songs on there. *mostly funk with some slower R&B jams on end of cd*

Eventually I get to listen to cd. IS so good I'm like singing songs aloud. *everything seemed good, ofcourse it never stays that way good ol me* So Jeff leaves and Avina is there doing her homework. Nacho comes in. HE goes and sits right next to Avina. I'm there just watching when he starts getting up and goes behind her. Starts to massage her and asks her if she needs help on homework. She says no then she starts to go get lunch. He's like, I'll buy it. She's like no thanks, she leaves. He then leaves to class. She comes back in, I'm there still listening to music. She is there gets really bored can't wait for Jeff to get out she says. Eventually goes to wait for him at his class.

THey hang out for like 45 mins. He comes back and is ready to go home. I'm game, so I go with him to bus stop. While walking, I'm like, "That nacho likes to touch to much, is he gay?" *he was a lil too damn touchy while talking to me, I gave him the DOn't touch me like that look he stopped* Jeff says, well I don't know, he does have a girlfriend. So some how he starts talking about how he don't like nacho having Avina's number. *she offered to him* I said, *should've said nothing* You should watch out for that nacho. I don't trust him. He said why? I said,Just he's too touchy and stuff. THen, *here is where I F***ed up* I'm like, can I tell you something? HE's like what is it. I tell him. HE gets REALLY upset, he is like angry. REALLY angry. Is like, oh its over with me and Avina, I'm gonna kick Nacho's A**. After all that, he starts talking all suicidal. *I'm all thinking what have I done* I talk him out of blaming Avina and make sure he ain't gonna do something stupid. *not sure why he'd blame AVina, she didn't massage him* He gets off the bus.

I ride bus for 2 hours. I feel terrible. Feel as though Avina will never like me as a friend and group may turn on me. Also, I should've minded my business. I had good intentions but I shouldn't have said anything. :( I wish I had a razor on bus. Maybe prove I was mad at self. *even though I'm not into the inflicting harm on oneself* I get off bus eventually and get home.

At home, I call Jeff right away. Get his answering machine. He does call back. I make sure he is ok. *he is* Also he's gonna let it in God's hands. *he got that from his mom, wow, he must be so close to talk to mom about that* He's also not gonna argue with Avina. Not even bring it up. *YES* She won't hate me. He's gonna wait for her to tell him Nacho massaged her. He's still going to his concert which is good. *is U2* Wish I was there. :( *I don't deserve it anyways*

Grrrr, what a setback! I was getting over things. Or atleast pretending everything was ok. Now I don't feel that anymore. Back to me wallowing in self pity for atleast a few more days. :( I know I shouldn't think about it but I can't help it. ITs like my mind keeps bringing it up. :( That is all. I'm really upset. BYE