Today I went to church. It was nice. Lots of people showed up because of a visiting pastor. Some of the people that came were missionairies. After the sermon I talked to one. Seems they're going out to the marshall islands to help people. *sounds cool* They bring supplies and teach those that want to the bible. They go out there in a motor boat. As the guy that was talking was telling me about it, I couldn't help but think that I want to go. *maybe something in the church air which makes one really consider it :D* Of course I got to finish college first though. Wow, I'm actually thinking of being a missionairie. I'd love it. Help people, teach about God, learn more while traveling the world. Though I'd also love for someone to take the journey with me. *preferably a lady friend* We'd grow close and I'd have someone that I'd always be able to share the experience with. *man, can I stop thinking of girls for once, stupid hormones* I think I'd still go even without someone. I think that is the kind of thing that would take me from pitiful lil tinoz to very religous right-doing christian man. *a magical outfit would appear on me when I transformed*

Another thing worth noting. The people there do care about me. *the ones at my church* Why do I say that, well, I haven't been there in a while and all of them were asking me if things were ok and if I needed anything. *of course I said all was fine* I think I'm to prideful to ever really reach out and ask or even accept help. *wonders* Yup, I think that says it. Now that I look at it, they always have tried to help me, I guess I just am so used to pushing and questioning peoples motives to stand back and see that maybe they do care. Still, I'd couldn't have someone try to help, I guess because I'd also feel ashamed. I sometimes feel we'll make it out the hole without anyones help. It's been 20 years though. STill in the hole. *sigh* If only I didn't have such a hard heart I'd let someone in.