You know, I feel like the things I'm learning in psychology should be what we learn when we're growing up. I think a lot of what's learned in high school doesn't help us become better human beings. Nor does it help us cope with the crazniess that is life. I suppose, we do learn what we need to do, but the problem is we don't enact it. That is why I added that quote up there. Its about living without regrets. Its something I learned and I say frequently when I give advice. It's based on Erik Erickson's work on life development. The last stage in life involves reflection. We look back in our lives and either feel happy or upset when reflecting back. What older people think about is what they should've done. Most generally come to some acceptance of what they did, but its the possiblities that rack their brains. What if I had said this to this guy. What if I tried out for the team. Even now, I'm sure you could think of things you wished you did sooner or even just plain did. Ofcourse, this only works if it isn't some giant sin or crime, just the day to day decisions. All things being equal, taking a chance helps quiet the curiosity of what if that comes later.

I think the hardest part about life is doing what you know you should be doing in the first place. We all know we should exercise. *it even helps alleviate anxiety and depression* Yet we don't. Atleast I don't. That is my goal this year actually. I know SO SO much of what I should be doing in life but I don't. I eat WAY too much chocolate. I watch too much TV. I don't spend time with ANY friends. I need to meditate and pray more. I need to love more too. When I say love, I mean myself first. We can't really love others without loving ourselves. When I say that, I think of all the negative thoughts I say to myself. That isn't very loving. I wouldn't say that to another. I need to find that balance between making sure I'm on task and I'm flexible to myself. I think that when we don't love ourselves, this allows others to take advantage of us. Being overly vulnurable and needing love, we give in to others because we want them to love us. We then resent them and it comes out in one way or another and then our connections don't work out. *ie, me and a majority of former friends*

I think the songs are to blame for all a lot of false beliefs. It makes it seem as though a hero is going to make us all better. But the truth is that only we can make ourselves ok.

I believe that God does want us to be happy. Yet, sometimes I think what drove me from religion is because it seems that God is portrayed as some angry guy who is going to torment us if we don't listen. I think the torment is down here, we punish ourselves. We can choose to be happy by loving. I think this coincidentally *or not* is part of God's plan for us. When we love, we are doing his will, we then get rewarded for it. Then we can love others because it is simply the happy *or right* thing to do. When we choose to beat ourselves up, then we are going against God's will, because this makes us sad. We then can't help spread the happiness because we're selfishly consumed by our own self hate. I believe this anti-happiness/anti-love is the devil.

Oh by the way, just so some of you christians know, when I say meditation, I don't mean emptying the mind. *nor do I think that is the intention of meditation* Its about stoping yourself from getting wrapped up in your own inner drama. You then try to be in touch with God more, or the subconcious you. You try to tell yourself how much you love yourself, how much you love the ones you want to hate, how much you love God for being alive. That's MY way of doing it atleast.

That's all for now. I'm going to do what I should be doing now, which is sleeping. I wish you guys the best, as you guys are always in my thoughts. Take care and love yourselves.