As I reflect on my day, I realize that no one really cares about me. Well, can't say no one, I have Michelle. Though I feel like no one else does. I figured that I'd lose my online friends due to the fact I'm hardly online to nuture the friendship. I miss them but don't have time for them. As for my offline friends, I feel that they don't really care how my life is going. I never get phone calls from them. Well, maybe except Donald and Brian. Donald usually wants to talk about sports, Brian usually wants something. My other so called friends are just around when I'm at the college.
My family really fluculates. My mom picks me up from college because she says she pitys me. That is about the extent of her "love" Though for her dearest Vanessa, she'll buy her food, clothes, and take her wherever whenever. My big bro usually "chit chats" with me about nonsense that only concerns him. My lil bro is into his own thing, like cartoons. My lil sis has been nicer, but I feel like she don't really love me anymore because I don't DO stuff for her.
The last group would be co-workers. LOL. Like they care. If I killed myself and was on the front page of the newspaper, I doubt they'd even know I had worked with them.
So it all boils down to this, I only got Michelle that cares for me. One is better than none, though I worry that one of these days, Michelle will push me away once she is successful and not realize it till its too late. She is that type to me.
Why I care, I dunno. Maybe a down moment right now. What the point of this entry is, to ramble on about inner thoughts and read later. As for myself caring about others, I think I do too much. I believe Michelle would agree with me on that one. I do try to reach out to others through phone calls, emails, lending money, being open to others by showing the diary. I dunno what else to do in my crazy search for care. As a third-person, I'd tell myself to rely on GOD for the love and care and to try to limit the expectations you *I* have on others. JFEWOIOI I'm DONE, tired. ~END~
Comments (4)
But, you need to stop associating love and caring with things and happenings. Things and happenings are expressions sometimes of love and caring, but they aren't required. You find it hard to share some of your feelings and emotions. So do a lot of other people, and I'd say your mom especially. Your bro, possibily because selfishly he doesn't see what's in it for him. Your mom, probably because she's been stepped on so many times. Your little bro and sis - I'd say they're confused by it all still, especially since they have so many people in their life doing it differently.
And for a final reminder, God cares. And I know you know that. :)
>^..^<
Like you, I too have been busy.
When younger, I use to feel the same way as you, but now I realize it's not that pple dont care about you, it was just that I expected too much attention from them. You are basing your happiness around what other pple say and do.
You are the best happiness one can give one's self.
Look in the mirror, smile at who you see and the reflexing will smile back.
There is your happinesss.
Love, Honey