For those of you curious, I will be tutoring Philosophy, Engish and History. I hope I really know the crap, otherwise I'm going to be stuck. I just know that someone is going to ask me a question I don't know and I'm going to be so embarrassed. It's like people expect the tutor "to know". So we'll see.

It feels good to be back online, if only at the college. I miss reading the various diaries I read and miss chatting to others. I know the first thing I'm going to do when we finally get a place is hook up the internet.

Speaking of that, we STILL haven't found a place. We thought we'd roomate with this lady named Angie. *in my Chemistry class* It started to break down though. First, she admits her husband isn't in the military, but she's going through a divorce. *strike one* Next, she stands me and Michelle up twice. First she has to "go to court" and can't show us the place. Then she can't show us because she's "stuck in traffic". *those are different days* The final straw was that she didn't pick up when Michelle was calling. Then, we called by blocking the number and *gasp* she picked up. She then says that, "Well I got to sell my house but you can stay with me in 2 years" 2 years!!!! She gots issues.

So now we're back to meeting the asian guy we're supposed to have met last week, but he canceled last minute. So things are up in the air. Though my friend Romero has a dad that says he can help us get a place.

Its surprising that he is helping me. He really isn't a friend, but more like an associate. I never done anything for him yet he seems like really wanting to help. That makes me feel guilty about accepting his help. If he can really help me find a place, I guess I'll treat him out or something.

In other news, my little sister had to go to the doctor to treat a sinus infection. She was coughing up blood or something like that. While she was getting her meds, I decided to go to the supermarket they were at. I see them and my mom don't look to happy to see me. I talk to my sister and she is missing some days of school. Michelle decides to shop. My mom wants to leave and starts to leave. As we're talking, she starts talk about Michelle. I start to defend her and there goes an argument. She leaves and I want to follow her because I need her tax papers for college. I can't leave without Michelle and I tell her to hurry. She doesn't. My mom takes off and I'm mad at Michelle.

One last thing is that I seen Sam. Sam is a christian that hangs out with Claudio and Rebecca. Same church and everything. He has been rather annoying. I guess I started it. He asked how I was doing. I decided that I was just going to say it and see his reaction. Well, he starts to ask all kinds of personal questions and tries to give advice. However, I thought about all the stuff he said already. Plus, he was too idealistic about how the whole thing works. He thinks I should ask my family for help. I try to explain that they try to ask me for help instead. He thinks they're all these great programs out there for people. Well there might be, but only if you have 0 money and don't even live in a motel. You have to stay at the homeless shelter. I went to the Department of Human Assistance. That's the best they could offer. If I had a kid, there is all kinds of assistance. But without one, I'm equiviant to a bum. Any cash assistance is just a loan, unless you have a kid. Anyways, he asks all these questions 2 days in a row and just tells me that I'm being tested by "SATAN" and with faith, God will help me; much like he helped Job. However, he had nothing to say when I asked him why those who are faithful in Africa don't have the same miraculous help. Does God only respond to those in industrial countries? Lemme guess, we're blessed right? God "blessed" America huh? Then why are we so superficial, greedy and do stuff that that smacks in the face of GOD?

I probaly shouldn't have said anything to him. I'm just going to end up being gossiped about. Then that'll turn into someone from that church giving me fake pity. They could tell me "they're sorry to hear about my situation" and they could say, "Let the GOD *the force* be with you". Yet they will do nothing to ensure that. Unless they found out I was related to them. Then ofcourse, that is a different story isn't it.

Obviously, that is my more skeptical side. He caught me during bad timing. I'm not optimistic right now. I'm not seeing how any of this will make me a better christian. These events are turning me away from him, not toward him. Plus, there is more. I dunno. I just feel bitter towards most christians. Most think they know so much. As do most religous people. I guess that's how you are when you think the book you read and base your life off of is from God himself. Maybe it is, but honestly, I'd rather be around *and act like* humanitarians.