Wow, I can't remember a time when my brain has been assulted with so much to deal with. Started with my mom. I had to call the cops on her because she started yelling at me and refuses to pay any owed money. They told me to take her to court. So we aren't on good terms. I also got especially mad at my lil sis because she took sides unncecssarily and caused the fight. Long story. Even mad at my lil bro because he also got involved in the argument with my mom, and took sides.

I was especially troubled by that as he usually don't get involved and we get along fairly well. I expect my lil sister to be against me. I don't buy her stuff. She is money orientated now. Many teens are now.

So then, on top of this, I had 2 midterms I had to cram for back 2 back. Plus, one of the classes also required a paper. So I was very mentally stressed. I had to quit one of my 3 jobs. I couldn't find time for anything.

So when things seemed dim, me and Michelle were doing ok. Keyword, Were. She was mad at me for making her wait 20 mins. I was suppose to meet her after my psych of personality class. Well I used the bathroom and borrowed a laptop from the campus libary. *just found out about that. Ain't that cool?* I'm currently typing on that laptop. So anyways, I seen her and she was pissed. My phone wasn't charged. That got her mad because she came early and had been waiting. By the way, I reminded her I had to go to the bathroom. It didn't matter. She promised to make a scene. And that she did.

She started following me and talking loudly in the libary. She said she'd ruin my whole day. Not wanting that, I went to the security. I told them she was harrassing me. Which she was. So they came and eventually got her to leave.

So here I am at the uni and I feel depressed. Kinda popped my bubble for the day. I was excited that I had got a low A in my psych of personality class. Most people didn't get A's in there. The highest score was 68/72. I got 65/72. So I'm happy that I'm actually thriving in my classes. The other classes are based on a curve and I'm still getting an A in my classes.

Right now, I'm playing music. Sad and angry music. I guess that'll help me cope. I'm not that sad or angry. Upset may be a better term. I don't know what to do with all this. My family is dysfunctional. My relationship is dysfunctional. My life is dysfunctional. All this work and school is rough.

Oddly, I feel strong though. I don't feel like I used to when things went wrong. I don't feel like dying or anything. I don't feel rage. Though I am not sure what to do with this. I can't really talk to my friends about my "feelings". Its hard to talk to Michelle because she has rage issues. I have this diary. I like you guys. I wish you were real though.

Yeah yeah, I know there is someone behind the text. But you can't be a part of my real life due to unavailablity. You're busy and live far away. *sigh* I dunno....

On the bright side, I get good advice from you guys. Actually, gals. I don't think any guys read me any more. There was niels but I dunno what happened to him. Doesn't matter, I'm happy when I see your comments and give me things to think about. I was especially happy for the advice last entry. Some are good that you can't see cuz its private.

I guess this is it for now.... I need a hug. I need to reach out more to others. Anyways, that's all for now. As always, take care.