Today was a good day. Heck, was a great day. Why? Well, no one event happened on the outside world to make it a great day. It all happened on the inside. I think I'm finally able to stop worrying what others think. I think it started with me realizing some stuff. Let me try to explain.

Ok, we all have this wall around us. Its a wall that supposely protects us from the outside world. We start to build it as we grow up because of the fear of pain. Actually, fear that someone won't accept us for who we are. As this wall grows, we cut ourselves off from people. WHen we do that, we deprive ourselves of the potential for great realtionships with others. Something we all desire. Anyways, we build up this wall that's suppose to make us feel safe. Thing is, it don't work. HOW MANY OF US ARE SECURE? So this wall is just a liability. We become trapped behind it. Like its a prison.

You say, but Tino, I am secure and its cause of that wall. Well, I say to you, then what are you afraid of. If your confident of yourself, you won't care what others think because you have accepted yourself. *gee, hope I'm not being ambiguous* Being secure means that you accept who you are based on the fact that you are different. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! The insecurity stems from the fact that you want to be the same as everyone else. *or just viewed as such* I say, WHY CARE? You are YOU. You do things that others might condemn but that's just you being you. When people try to condemn you for doing a paticular act, its just them trying to push theirselves on you. A sort of enmeshment.

I hope I made my point. I dunno. Works for me. That theory may not work for you. I can't claim that it will. Those are just thoughts in my head that I thought of putting on here. As for accepting myself, I finally do. I know my flaws and my good qualities. All that makes me ME. Now then, knowing that, that doesn't just mean just accepting flaws and never trying to change them. But first you got to acknowledge them and know that THAT Is you. Just like an addict has to admit and accept they are an addict before they can change that status. *are you following?* Ok, I'm done with that, I'm not sure how clear that was, but worked for me.

As for the content of my day, it was what I could consider boring. Just me and Donald there talking. Not bad, atleast I have someone to talk to, right? Told him all this and some other stuff about living in the moment. Oh, let me write about that. *i'm so in that kind of mood*

Ok, one reason there are so many people have a hard time enjoying themselves is because they live in a moment other than the one they are currently in. Let me explain. People who are not happy in a happy situation usually are living in the past or the future. You say, in the future? Yeah, they are thinking about what will happen and how its gonna be negative. So instead of enjoying the happy moment, they chose to live in a negative one. Now, one might think that you have to face your issues and that what I'm saying isn't practical. Well, I say face you issues sometime in your day. Schedule it in. *Your like yeah right, I have too much of a busy day* Just hear me out. If you don't schedule a time to face your issues and be done with them, the issues will pop up when you don't expect them. Besides, if you made it this far down the entry, i'm sure you have some free time. You say, how do I face issues. Well, mediation, prayer, exercise. *you know, the good stuff*

OK OK, I'm done rambling. I had to get that out of my system. As for love and intamacy stuff I promised, I want to write about it, but I want to be as through as possible. And right now I feel like I am missing a couple of key elements. I want to discuss those elements with my professor before I even attempt such a tough task. As you know, people write whole books dealing with just a few aspects of love and intimacy, so me trying to squezze it all into an entry will be tough. I will figure out how though. Anyways, I'm done typing for now, i hope atleast one person thinks deeply about what I said. If you do, let me know, k. THAT IS ALL. ~END~ *note to self, moved date to 13th, though day is 12th, that way I don't have to move back the previous entry to the 11th and lose those comments*