In my previous entry, I was cut short. I never got a chance to write that I got my pills. After waiting at 6 in the morning at not been seen till after noon, it all paid off. *btw, I went to the free county health clinic* I even managed to get a shot of testostorone. *though I'm not even sure I need it any more, seem ok* I have some labs I have to show up to in order to see how much of what I need. For the meanwhile, they gave me my old dosage. I was kinda scared of retaking the pills because I know my levels have to be different. Plus the side effects. Those side effects got me the same day as I ended up being all nervous at night time and eventually threw up. It was really harsh. I kept thinking about God vs evolution and I couldn't turn it off. For a minute there I thought he was really looking at me and it freaked me out. Anyways, that has benefited me. I know I need these pills and doctors look out for me.

More help concerning my mom. She has helped me more since I loaned her some money. *talk about things backwards, though is the norm around here* I had no real choice anyways. The rent was short and we could've been evicted. Her friend, "don mato" sure wasn't going to bail us out like he has been. And just today, my mom hates him because don mateo hid her car keys from her. *long crazy story* That fact minorly has helped me and Michelle in my opinion. Not sure what she'd say because she is generally unhappy lately.

As for the helping, I did that earlier today. RIght before I got in this computer lab. I was sitting with Michelle and she was prepping before a test. I looked over at this bumy looking guy and he nodded at me. I nodded back and looked at Michelle. She was ready to go, so I escort her to her class. I then go back out. I see him there and decide that I should go and ask him for the time. He ofcourse didn't have it and I offered him some honey cornbread. *now you might be thinking, honey cornbread, WHAT?* THe thing is I had to bring some for Sociology class; extra credit. I had extra and was going to give it to my lil bro and sis. THough when I got there I gave him the rest of the bag. He was like "THANK you. I haven't had cornbread in years." This will be dinner tonight." That was hearwrenching. So I said, "That's sad, it shouldn't be that way" I then gave him some extra hersey kisses I had. Then I said "so, out of curiosity, what you doing out here" He then said he comes out here to "dig in the trash because college students tend not to eat all thier lunches and they didn't say it was illegal" So then I tell him there are christians that can help him and stuff. He then tells me he knows and knows God will lead the way. Said some other stuff pertaining to christianity, verses. That told me he definatly was christian. So he tells me that God must have led me to him and stuff. I told him I thought so too. *at that moment I wasn't sure, but as it continued, I thought yeah* I asked him how he got into his paticular pradicument and he said he got involved with the wrong people and was taken advantage of. He then started telling me how he sees me and Michelle getting on the bus all the time. He then tells me about the garage he rents and how it was flooding because the recent storm. That got to me and I really want to help him. I told him I'd meet him at 1Pm on Monday and I'll try to help him somehow. I told him there has to be some kind of program that can help him and make sure he doesn't have to go through all the crap he goes through. I then told him I had to go and left.

Now I'm just here wondering what next. I been wanting to attend church lately but haven't. I think I'm ready, but not at the chruch with Rebecca and Claudio. Too much "bad" blood. I'm still not liking the adventist chruch I used to go. Too stale and inactive. For older people. I need something with energy, action, love, GOD. GTG