ME:
The week ends with some good news. Michelle got her period. VERY happy about that. I guess we were paranoid. Though it was off by 20 days. Also, my mom found this NICE computer desk at a yard sale for $20. The desk looks like its worth around $100. It looks virtually unused. Before that, the computer was on the ground with the monitor on a stool. *smirk* Even better, Michelle actually cleaned the kitchen REALLY nice. It was a mess and now it looks nice.

My mom was very happy and bought Michelle some tacos. This is different, being that my mom has never bought anything individually for her. Usually, I have to share my portion with Michelle. It didn't hurt that my mom was buzzing off her 6 King Cobra beers that day. *24 ounces* So things haven't been that bad.

Despite this nice turn of events, I've still been down. I dunno what it is, just not feeling ok. Just don't really want to be bothered. Speaking of being bothered, Alex has really been calling me lately. He wants me to install a DVD burner for him. I don't want to. So he's been really calling me alot. Funny how he hadn't called me in a lil while and all of a sudden, he can't stop calling me. He of all people should know better than that. He complains that his friends do that to him all the time. I'll do it eventually because I feel sorry for him, but really he disappoints me.

Been reading diaries lately and seems that for some reason, alot of people are lonely right now. Its a weird trend that happens on DD. Seems that everyone goes through similar moods during the same time. Or maybe its just that I notice it more. Its really sad that there are over 6 billion people on this planet and yet most find themselves feeling cold and alone. I thought finding a stable relationship would solve this, but no, that doesn't do it. It helps but really doesn't make life as great as you think it would be if you had someone that adores you.

Speaking of noticing trends, I've thought about how people's faith in God in correlated to how much trust people have in society. Skeptics are usually atheists or not very spiritual. People who generally believe there is good in all people are generally more spiritual. Ofcourse, there are always some that defy patterns. Still, can't find any research online about it. Its an idea I'll come back for research in the future. Could be part of a disertation or something.

In other news, I think I will have to create an alternate DD name. Sometimes I feel I can't be dead-on honest without offending a few friends. Even when I read random diaries, I feel that if I say something someone don't like, that they'd retaliate on my diary. I try to be as honest as possible. Still, sometimes you need to be straight up with people. People say you can be blunt, but then when you do say something, it can come off as rude or just too harsh. Though I really do need to learn to be creative with my words if I ever hope to become a psychologist. Sometimes it just depends on people, I know some of you guys only want it straight up. As for myself, I know I like the more straight up advice, though not a personal attack. Except from my family, they usually start out constructive and turn into insults. So yeah. Well, time for Michelle's entry. The only thing is that she can't get private ones on here, so if you must, go to utada.deardiary.net

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Michelle:
I feel like there is no meaning to life. I means yes I do have someone that love me very much, but I am in a position of where I don't realli care about anything else. I just like everyone else who have problems, and I am not that much different from them. I thought I someone unique once upon a time ago, trying to be different, trying to be strong, yet I felt like trap again. Yeah, I am not living with my parent, being on my own, finding myself. What i end up finding is depressing facts about myself. The more I understand about myself, then what. Still no actions. Well, I could go help the homeless, but there will always be homeless. I could go help abused women who stay at Weave, but there will always be women who will be abused either they bring that problem to themeselves or it is the guy that is the problem, but either way the result is the same. WHY BOTHER? RIGHT? I felt like I am living in a meaningless existence.