After stalling til 5 PM, we ended up going to the mall. She started to get bitter because they didn't have a shirt that she had put on reserve. So then she couldn't find anything she liked to wear. I recommended a few things and she tried one thing, she didn't like it. So then she is depressed because she says she don't feel pretty. So I tell her, "you look pretty. It don't matter, I love you" She tells me "YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND ME!" So then I'm confused. Then I'm mad. She then tells me she wants a new style and wants to do her hair. So I try to talk to her some more and she is mad again. I'm mad too and walk away. We go to Barnes and Noble and get this book. We read and things are ok.

So as of now, things are alright. I cooked her 2 soups and she is content. I am so so. I miss having friends. Ofcourse, she is my best friend, but she doesn't like the same hobbies as I do. This is odd. I always thought a deep relationship would solve everything for me. THough I find it has only complicated things. Plus I am alienating all my friends. My family is psychotic and not worth my time.

The latest with them is the whole bad Vanessa thing. After her drinking on school property, my mom still is ok with her hanging out with her friends and acts as though its a natural passage. Anything I say to my mom is viewed as an attack on Vanessa and since my mom is defensive of her, I get yelled at. Vanessa thinks I'm a stick in the mud and tunes me out. My big bro is overly superficial and arrogant for my taste. Plus he has anger issues. My lil bro is starting the same bad path by staying home atleast once a week and disobeying everyone. He yells really loud when he tunes you out and my mom is too permissive to enforce any type of discipline. I tried to scare him into listening but again, my mom views it as an attack against her parenting and yells at me. Plus there is just so much more, I just dont' have the time or patience to write down every lil incident. Hopefully, I'll be moving.

The thing is the money. What may end up happening is that I get a car and live there for a bit to save some money up and get a permanent job. Michelle is cool with it. This once sounded crazy to me but seems like what I will have to do. Oh freaking well. I'll live and when I get up there, I can add that as part of my great story one day.

All this just adds to my piling bitterness. This ofcourse means that I should change majors, that's ok. Biology seems cool anyways. That way, I don't have to interact with people and "act" nice. Cause the niceness I had is nearly gone. I genearlly don't give a damn about people outside DD and Michelle. Well anyways, take care people. later