I think it is time to back off and stop trying to go after Eliza. I have realized that she is a big ol' flirt. She don't really like me. This I know for sure now. Eliza isn't the type I needed anyways. It hurts though, I really wanted someone to go out with. It's for the better though. She's not religous and she is very inconsiderate. And like she said today," If I see you tomorrow I do, If I don't I don't" It don't really matter if she sees me. Not just from that, but other things as well. Oh well. I also think I'm not gonna hang out with the group that much anymore. They're so differenet from me. So different, I only said like 2 sentances in 3 hours of hanging out. The stuff they talk about I can't relate to. :'( I'm just to different. i've never had a "beer bong". I never got so drunk I vomitted on my friends. Other stuff I just can't relate to. The only people I can relate to, Jeff and Avina, are into themselves. Always kissing and running off together. I would too if I were them though. I think I'm going back to my isolationism. I'm all I need. Besides, who would want me, I'm so boring.
Yup, I'm feeling down again. If you don't wanta read, DOn't! I just feel I'm not enough anything. I'm not that religous, so when I'm around them I can't relate. I'm not "that" smart. Not enough to hang with geeks. I'm surely not "cool". Not even online. :( Most people don't even chat with me anymore. *sniff sniff*
On the home front. My mom is working every other day now. And the car don't work. Also, my big brother is being meaner then ever. He took over my lil sister's club in the garage. :( I also had to force my mom to go to open house. ANd it gets me mad that my Vanessa has to hear her get mad at having to go. I guess the only highlight of today was when my big brother ordered pizza after I ate dinner. He offered me a slice. *I wonder about his motives though* After that, I chat for a lil. THat's bout it.
GRRRRRRRR!! I'm so mad that i'm not at the point in my life that I can just shake off all these things. IT's cause I don't got God in my life. :'( I know it, I try to sometimes, but never can stay focused on God. :( I wonder sometimes if what I'm looking for in a relationship is what I need from GOd.
Comments (4)
(((hugs)))
i wish you weren't still struggling. =/
as far as relationships ~ the friend and girlfriend kinds ~ perhaps ''How to Win Friends and Influence People'' by Dale Carnagie would be a good resource for you. i used to be a wall-flower before i read that book -- it helped me in so many ways.
as far as your family - =/
i suppose that is why we are at least able to pick our friends.
best wishes to you and your tomorrow.
@
I still love ya, son!
Sometimes, I am so down & out with the blues, that I am not up for chatting.
You understand, I hope!
Life has been a busy bee for me!
And I promise not to pull my hair out, I do not want to look like my dad! LOL!
I understand about your downs, but you are defintly not a nerd! So get that out of your head!
You just have not met your kind of friends yet!
They will come along, when you are not looking for them!
Peace and Love,
Honey
~Bree~