Just got off a very interesting diary that had an entry about self hate. Couldn't help but to think that the paticular diarist has this overwhelming guilt trip due to the fact of something he/she did in the past and may be doing more. What doesn't help is the fact that thier christian faith doesn't quite help as much as they may think. It creates this giant expectation of codes of conduct and behavior. Not saying that most if not all aren't right. Just that sometimes, myself included, take these expectations and compare them to what we are doing. The result being that we or I don't measure up. Not measuring up means we ain't good enough and then comes that dark feeling that many know as depression. What's worse is when you try to overcome it all by using God and it's just not enough. For some reason, it never is. Though another clear alternative is not to be found. Christianity brings a damened if you do, damned if you don't double edged sword.
Society isn't much better either. They say you have to be this or that image or something is wrong with you. No wonder so many damn people are depressed. They've been socialized wrong in a very imperfect society. Not to say society should be done away with, we all need it to be fuctional adults. Just maybe society needs to lighten up these expectations and allow for acceptance of people's failings, not matter how bad or "evil" they may seem. I think more people should follow that one verse saying *paraphrasing here* "Let the first person without sin cast the first stone" sigh, wish it was like that. For truth be told, if people knew all about me, and I mean ALL, even stuff I don't write on here and tell anyone, they'd think i'm evil. Thing is, maybe part is, but I want to be good. Even if I do screw up and stuff, as long as I try, it should be good enough.
In my opinion, I think its good enough for God as long as we try not to and turn to him. Like a benevolent parent loving thier kid even though they do stuff they shouldn't. How much more is God in his unconditional love and willingness to forgive. That is all. ~END~
Comments (2)
Christian leaders who emphasize living by the law are trying to make themselves look good and earn the right to be looked up to and esteemed by the "little people" they are in charge of. They are doing the same thing the Pharisees did in the time of Christ. Just read what Christ said to them, and you will see how God feels about today's leaders who do the same thing. God does not judge us by our outward behaviour, but on the thoughts and intents of our hearts.
Accepting Christ is not a magic pill for perfection. It is accepting a gift of redemption. The rest is the work of living, and that does not change whether you are a Christian or not. We pick and choose which expectations we will live up to, and which we will not. Those expectations could come from God, or society, or even ourselves .... but they are still choices.
Because we make those choices, we assume we have picked the ones we can live up to. So when we fail, we see it as someone else's fault. We should have lived up to it, so someone else must have failed us. We fool ourselves into thinking that God's strength isn't enough, when in reality we never accepted His strength because we were either so sure we could do it on our own or were determined to prove we could.
And all because we want to be worthy. Worthy of what or who is also a choice, but what few of us believe in our hearts is, God already sees us as worthy. He always did.
Perhaps there are some sections of Christianity that do bring about some self-hate. They preach a gospel of morals and virtues, and they forget the gospel of grace and forgiveness. But some of those I wouldn't even call Christian, though they think they are. It still remains that we bring those expectations on ourselves, and thus the self-hate. We believe our doubts and we believe the world rather than believe God.
>^..^<