Yup, I think that word could best describe today. Omgosh. :) Well, how it start, with me getting ready for good ol college and arriving there. I get there and find Jeff really sad. I'm like hey, what's wrong. SOmething about he's not with Avina cause of the dad. He noticed me sad too, He was like you wanna have a pity party. LOL *been hearing those words alot* SO He takes off to class says he will be back at 12. 12 comes, it goes. It's 12:30 and I'm like really worried. HE comes in though. WITH AVINA. They're together. :) *he has biggest smile* WHy does this matter, why write about it, um, just cause I thought it went with whole omgosh thing cause first I thought he broke up, then I thought he went off and did something stupid. *he has tried suicide before* Him and Avina invite me with them to go eat pizza. YAH! *though I felt like maybe I should've stayed and let them two talk, I was being selfish and was thinking of pizza*

Eat pizza and enjoy the time. GO back to student center. *were back in there* Lot of group is there. Is Very fun time. We all talked about TV guy and old school music. *tv guy is psycho who likes candace, got his name cause he always has portable tv* I get so caught up I end up late for psychology class.

I go there, I feel bad vibes already. THere I find out my score for test. OMGosh. *that is a bad omgosh* I did super terrible. I guess I don't have the touch anymore. :~( I got *gasp* 8/25. Annette thought she did bad. IF that ain't totally bombing it, what is. THen I go up to teacher and ask how he graded me. YOu know what he does, sends me to another student, says explain to him. *student says I dont see anything wrong* Teacher starts reading what I wrote. *grr* I had definition write on, just I added on. I guess I have to have exact definition. I was like, what about rest of the question. He said," if you missed that part why bother going any further on your answer" WHAT THE HELL kind of logic is that?! So I got 0 on first one. WHole class bugged him all day though. I was not only one. *thank God* THough most had a lil higher than me. Avg was 14. A lil strict I think. I leave.

I mooped around at bus stop till I realize someting. I'm not gonna let that ruin my day. Must think of something positive. Took me a sec, found something. Something I had that was positive about the college. I have more friends than ever. I"m actually popular. I made a list of all the people I know. 15 sit at my group. I know 21 other people who are at different groups. I also have online friends. GOOD ones at that. LIke kaliko and ally. *among many others which if I list all would take up 3 pages* What is so cool for me is just last year I had only 1 friend. Ray. I refer alot to him as best friend. *he is not now* I even read an entry on here with me hoping to find some friends. I was gonna join some clubs to find some. REMEMBER?

ANyways, I come home and eat. Go onto computer. Chat for a few hours with kaliko. I wish I knew someone like her in real life. We'd be close friends. I KNOW THAT! WIsh I could visit her one day. Maybe. *don't have money* Neither does she. ANywho, I'm here, kinda mixed. Happy in some senses, I have friends. One thing I always wanted. In another, life is sucking, I'm doing terrible in school, bad as a chrsitan and not so good finacially. ANd health, LOL, worse daily. Had TERRIBLE headache and eyes hurted. THink vision is getting worse. :( Not to mention other symptoms of tumor. Not to mention no girlfriend. NO one I can turn to for that special hug that I could really use. YEt how can I complain when God has given me life. I don't deserve to live. WOrld would be ok without me. Yet he decided to make me here.

How could I forget what he has given me. SORRY!!!!!! Not only life, but family. A good country. Clean water, a roof! Arms, legs, eyes. I got all of them. I'm in one piece. NO one said life would be easy. Why do I expect it to be. What else could I say but thanks GOD. Thank you for all that I do have.