We will both work and go to college right up to the pregnancy. She will then take off and care for the child. I will continue to finish my college and hopefully get my belated BA in June. We'll have a lil money saved up to sustain we think for a lil bit. I'll apply for a job with the BA hoping to make atleast $15 an hour. She'll go to summer school and finish her BA while I take care of the kid during that time. *I'll work while she is at home watching it* Once she is done with summer school, she'll have her BA and we should both make decent money.

Will it work? I dunno. Maybe. What else can be done? I'm hoping maybe we can somehow get the church we've been going to lately *the seventh day adventist one I was baptized in* to throw a baby shower at maybe Ray's girlfriend's house. That hopefully will help us get a few supplies. The real issue is childcare. Maybe someone there? There are still a lot of questions I hope to answer eventually.

Though me and Michlle had a negative experience with the both of them on Saturday. It started out good. Ray came and picked us up. He being very funny in the car. So we go to the service and he takes me to the upper level of the church which is offlimits normally. Though he has the key. Up there, he controls the sound and lighting. SOme guy I never seen also came up there briefly. I watched the whole service up there while Michelle watched from the pews. The service was ho-hum. It was about the 3 angles message. *not a big believer in all of that*

Things seemed to be going pretty good otherwise. There was a potluck. We grabbed a bunch of food and ate it. I was rather shocked that it tasted good because most of it was either vegatarian stuff or vegan stuff. *I hate those kinds of foods, I need meat* I sat next to Ray and that was ok. He got me to eat some chili beans I intially avoided. I begrudgeling admitted how good it is. *I hate saying how good food is* I motion him with my eyes to Poogen *a guy* who is sitting next to Carmen *his girlfriend*. He always sits next to her even though I believe he knows about her and Ray. He seems a lil upset. Though says or does anything.

Alot of time elapses *from maybe 1 to 3:30* Later it is just me, Michelle, Ray, Carmen and Andriana *Carmen's 5 yr old daughter Michelle was playing with for awhile* After tiring of that, we sit in the muti-purpose room and Ray and Carmen are in the very nearby kitchen. They know we are there at the tables and they are wispering. It is hard to make out much of anything they are saying but we infer it has to do with her and Poogen. *Michelle overhears something about Ray not paying attention to her* Its intially a lil interesting but becomes boring quickly. I indicate to Ray that I want to leave. *its 4 now* He then goes with Carmen toward the sanctuary. I ask for the car keys so I can wait in there. I go with Michelle and we turn on some music. We're waiting and waiting for Ray. Meanwhile, Andriana is running on the outside of the church with no supervision. She doesn't listen to our instructions of going in the church with her mom. So more waiting ensues and it is now 4:40. He finally comes out and says bye to Carmen. She goes in the car next to us and doesn't say bye to either me or Michelle. He comes in and I'm ticked off.

He says sorry. I tell him that if he wanted to talk to her privately, he should've dropped us off first. He says sorry again later and I say essentially the same line and continue not to talk. Though Michelle kept trying to talk to me. He drops me off at my mom's house and he takes off. I find out Michelle is mad because Carmen had talked to a lot of people during the potluck, but didn't talk to her, or even say bye. I'm still annoyed at Ray because I'm a lil disappointed in his lack of consideration. I then am mad at Carmen too because she calls Michelle intially *this is last wednesday or something* and seems friendly, but then completely ignores her. *she also didn't say much of anything to me either* So now Michelle is disenchanted with Carmen. *something I was hoping didn't happen because Michelle is already so jaded about other people, as I am too*

I go with my mom and smaller siblings to walmart to pick up this chair. We then go to her house for a lil before leaving. There isn't much else that has happened since, besides a string of communications between me and kaliko that I'll keep private unless otherwise told not to.

College starts on Thursday. Why not Monday? I dunno. UC Davis is weird like that. I had to triple check to confirm that. I"m nervous yet determined to get A+'s. Anything less is failure. Actually, as long as I get like a 3.5, I guess that's ok.... Need to do more to get to UCLA, especially since now I may need to support the family one day. That is all for now. Thanks for everthing and anything people.