Lots of things happened today. So i'm on campus right, I'm there talking to Donald. NExt thing I know Jeff and Avina come. So we talk, their hungry. They want to eat. SO they talk about where they want to go. I'm like, lets go to KFC. I"m like my treat. *figured why not spend money, might not even live to spend rest* As I'm going, I think about bible study at noon. I even tell Jeff, I'm not sure I should go to KFC, maybe I should go to bible study. He influences me not to. *though can't say he forced me, I made choice on my own* I go, we get 8 piece meal deal. Was good. Go back to campus.

Jeff goes to class. Avina goes to computer lab to check email. I go to student center when I reconize its 1 o'clock. Time study gets out. I look to see if I see anyone leaving, I don't. I eventually find out Eliza wants to talk to me. She wants to study. I tell her I wasn't in mood really. She was busy with this girl APril. *april could be pregnant* I go off to computer lab. While walking I see Crawdag and Rebecca. *I feel so low for not going* I talk to them briefly. I tell them I will see them Sunday. *Later I see ALberto, he will give me ride* Go on net, get off. Go speak to Candace and stuff. Later, Jeff comes, he's REALLY sad. Apparently he has bad grades. Avina comes in, they talk. THey leave to talk. I am with group. *bout 5 of us at time* Jeff comes back later. He is ready to leave, he is Noticably happier. Guess Avina somehow made him feel better.

We talk again while on way to bus. *part of routine now* He tells me story about when he was really depressed. Its crazy. don't want to go into too much detail, just say he went nuts when he did, if only temporary. We also talk about other things, like how some people are so superficial. We both acknowledge how easy it is to talk to each other. Donald comes, we change subject. We ride bus, Donald gets off. Jeff tells more of his story, says, "You never thought like that huh" I"m like, well, I have. I just never try to commit sucide cause my lil bro and sis depend on me. I then talk about how tumor gots me really concerned. He says," Your gonna be ok, right?" I say, "really not sure" He says," YOu gonna be ok?" I tell him I'm not sure. *I start tearing up* I say, "Its gonna be hard to say goodbyes if I do have to get another surgery. *I then take deep breath, relax* He asks if I want his number, I say sure. I get it. I then buy bus pass.

While waiting for bus, I was really sad. I get on, ride to college. *well to a park near college, I cross the park* I become ok once there, buy some mocha drink and cupcakes. I wait for sociology class. Eventually it starts. I got test back, got 21/20 on essay. *i'm good at essays* 65/80 on multiple choice portion of test. *not so good* We talk about women's issues in class. YOU WOMEN HAVE IT TOUGH!!! I'm not sure why any guy would want to be a girl. Your drawbacks are greater than ours. Your benefits are less than ours. Very unfair.

As class finishes, I feel VERY fatigued. I go outside, wait for bus. While waiting, felt VERY odd. Was thinking thoughts that I usally don't. Such as just acting really wild tomorrow. Or just telling everyone off. Also In class, almost laughed out loud when they were talking about stuff that was very serious. I get home, NO DINNER!!! I'm ok though, appetite was gone. Talk to mom for about an hour. I think I want to get her some psychatric help. SHe seems really sad. She is usally not this way, never shows her emotions. Not her sad ones. She is actually concerned about me. !!!!! made me felt kinda special. :) I do admit, I do like attention like that. We then talk about Taliban and stuff. She gets tired, I eventually come on computer, check email, write this entry. All in all, not sure how I feel again. Maybe bemused. Yeah. MIXED! LIke I said, one way, I'm really sad about life, bout being poor, bout tumor, bout not having a girlfriend. In another way, I'm thrilled that I got friends, I'm in college pursing dream, learning more about GOD. On that thought, I will close.