Well, first let me cover the party on Saturday night. Went ok I guess. No fights, no cops, no loud arguments. Sounded kinda fun actually, but I'm not the hangout type and I don't like alcohol. *More like hate* So I stayed in my room. Was left alone for the most part, except phone kept ringing. Also, this guy Josh, he was in my room about 5 times calling his lady. Poor thing, he sounds controlling and very negative. Reminds me of my mom's boyfriend. As the night wore on, this guy even knocked over a few of my things, that is when I had to tell him to hurry off phone and leave. I in the meanwhile plugged up my headphones listend to music and watched winamp visualizations. *geiss* Is really cool. The party ended at 3 in the morning. 2 if you factor daylight saving time. I asked my brother how he liked his party, he said he wished more were there. Biggest it got was bout 75 people. He wanted it to be 100, or atleast "shoulder to shoulder" I'm glad it wasnt. The bathroom was filled all night. Rest of family stuck in one room. When it finishes, I sleep.

Now Sunday. Not very good. My 49ers lost. :( Also, got into it with my mom like 3 times. Each time 30 mins or so. Got into it with big bro twice. *sigh* Though there was postitve, mom bought lots of food. *$150* Woooohoooo. Will be nice while it lasts. Also, lil bro and sis were happy about costumes. *somewhat* Lil sis will be an alien, lil bro a ninja. Lil sis wanted to be a powerpuff girl. They had none at Walmart. Lil bro didn't care. Rest of today kinda just goes, pretty forgetable.

As i re-read what I just wrote, I've noticed that i've been getting increasingly negative. hmmmm. Even when compared to a few months ago, i've changed. Its sad, I think its starting to even affect how I talk to family and stuff. Mom noticed it. What really is disparing me, is I don't see anything that really is gonna pull me out of this pessimistic funk. Its like I wake up everyday and think, what kinda crap is gonna happen again. Then it happens, I think, I knew it. Even when it don't happen, I'm like, I was lucky today. *even though I don't believe in luck persay* I don't know. Ok, till tomorrow