Next semester will be more Ugh. Found some G.E requirements that I didn't fulfill. Plus, I got to take an upper division research methods. I utterly despise research methods. But it must be done. I'm almost the the promised land. :D
Still got a lot on my plate. Got to clean the house THROUGHLY. We're moving. So that's a pain. Especially since the place is a wreck. Then got to actually move stuff on what could be a rainy day in mid May? *where did spring go?*
After this, I am set. Life will be ok once more. Not that its that bad to start with. Trying to keep a positive outlook.
It really does take energy to keep positive. I think its a natural phase to go into negativity and self-hate. I still find some sadness in my life. I'm just not getting devestated by things like stress and depression anymore. They're there, *only natural*, but I will be ok as long as nothing really bad happens. And I think that's the test. Would I be able to withstand extreme stress?
The only thing I really got to work on is this stupid desire to be liked more. It creeps in at times. I want things like more comments, more emails, more people to call me. Ofcourse, I don't think I do enough in putting out what I hope for. I realize that I don't take my own logical advise enough. So much effort fighting the emotions. They are mostly lies, I tell you. I know this stems from my past. Where's Freud when you need him. Tell me about how I must've not resolved this issue when I was young. Tell me to reply it in my head and change the outcome. Tell me I am likeable and challenge my asseration that I must somehow be unlikeable.
Anyways, I play too much psuedo-psychological sessions in my head. LOL. That's what happens when you get all this info from class and try to apply crap. I know how to recongnize stuff, its the healing that I am fuzzy about. Ask me what another has and I can pull out the descriptive name. Ask me to fix it, and I'll squirm. Them whores haven't shown me yet and I'm not innovative to figure it out yet........
Well folks, that's all the time I have for you today. See you around
Comments (3)
I think you could handle extreme stress if you needed to, we as humans tend to be able to handle more than we realise we could. I know I felt like I hit the worst things possible when my friend died last year and I had all that other crap going on, but I got through it, and it still kinda surprises me that I did. It's that or give up I guess, which is why we keep going, in hope of the better times!
The people liking you thing is something most of us deal with. I think there is a scale, really. It's when you feel you need others' approval to give yourself value that the problem starts. Anyone other than God, that is. Wanting more comments, calls etc. is fairly harmless - that niceness of feeling 'in touch' with people, it's about contact, too I think. About naturally needing other people in order to be a complete person. There's all this 'stand alone' stuff but the fact is, our lives are enriched by other people.
I think you've come so far. I too wrestle with the approval thing but I'm a lot further on than was. It's all part of the journey of faith and understanding.
Many (((hugs))) to you today
DBS